Having a Bad Day
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 456
Having a Bad Day
Lately, I've been feeling really good with my recovery.
After being a stay-at-home mom for 10 years, I started working again and love the job that I found. I've been busier than usually, but happy busy.
I've also been noticing changes in the way that I interact with the world. I've been feeling less self-conscience, apologetic, and have just been feeling happier in my skin. I'm 48 years old and am looking forward to spending the second half of my life in a much better emotional place.
However, just when I was starting to feel "recovered" my mood shifts and I'm back to feeling anxious, like a failure, and broken. I get in these moods where I can't focus and I don't know what to do first. When I'm like this, all I want to do is eat. That has always been my default way to comfort myself.
I hate days like this and I really have yet to figure out how to reset myself when my emotions start to spiral out of control.
Sometimes I can point to a specific trigger, but today nothing has really happened. Guess I just need to trudge through the day and hope that tomorrow is better.
On days like these I wonder how many of my "character flaws" are due to being raised in an dysfunctional home and how much could be due to faulty brain wiring.
Maybe I just need to be more comfortable with feeling "off". When I was growing up, negative emotions weren't tolerated. So now, if I'm not feeling happy I feel like I NEED TO DO SOMETHING!!!
Can I be content just sitting with this feeling?
I've eaten enough junk, so I'm going to make a list of things to do and just work on that until dinner and bedtime.
Can anyone relate?
What do you do on bad days?
Thanks for reading and for letting me share.
db
After being a stay-at-home mom for 10 years, I started working again and love the job that I found. I've been busier than usually, but happy busy.
I've also been noticing changes in the way that I interact with the world. I've been feeling less self-conscience, apologetic, and have just been feeling happier in my skin. I'm 48 years old and am looking forward to spending the second half of my life in a much better emotional place.
However, just when I was starting to feel "recovered" my mood shifts and I'm back to feeling anxious, like a failure, and broken. I get in these moods where I can't focus and I don't know what to do first. When I'm like this, all I want to do is eat. That has always been my default way to comfort myself.
I hate days like this and I really have yet to figure out how to reset myself when my emotions start to spiral out of control.
Sometimes I can point to a specific trigger, but today nothing has really happened. Guess I just need to trudge through the day and hope that tomorrow is better.
On days like these I wonder how many of my "character flaws" are due to being raised in an dysfunctional home and how much could be due to faulty brain wiring.
Maybe I just need to be more comfortable with feeling "off". When I was growing up, negative emotions weren't tolerated. So now, if I'm not feeling happy I feel like I NEED TO DO SOMETHING!!!
Can I be content just sitting with this feeling?
I've eaten enough junk, so I'm going to make a list of things to do and just work on that until dinner and bedtime.
Can anyone relate?
What do you do on bad days?
Thanks for reading and for letting me share.
db
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 456
Thanks for the response LuvIn.
I do believe in the balancing of things in life - good and bad experiences, times of struggle with times of ease. Never thought about my emotions like that though. I need to accept that it's unreasonable to expect to be happy all the time.
I ran a couple of errands and I was able to identify a couple of triggers. I went to a graduation party last night for the daughter of a woman that I volunteer with. This woman tends to gossip and be really critical of others. Being around people like that make me feel uneasy. When I left I immediately wondered what they were going to say about me. I know that gossip tends to say more about the gossiper than the people being gossiped about, but it still bothers me.
The second thing is that I got into a disagreement with a woman at church and I'm also feeling frustrated with some things that are/are not happening there. I've been thinking about leaving and finding another church, but the effort required to do this is more than I feel capable of. Also, realistically I know that I'll never find a church without conflict. I feel that figuring out how to stay there will be a growth opportunity for me. However, there a part of me that feels like an angry child. I'm frustrated and feel like my needs are being ignored.
Seeing it in writing makes it seem so silly.
One day at a time.
db
I do believe in the balancing of things in life - good and bad experiences, times of struggle with times of ease. Never thought about my emotions like that though. I need to accept that it's unreasonable to expect to be happy all the time.
I ran a couple of errands and I was able to identify a couple of triggers. I went to a graduation party last night for the daughter of a woman that I volunteer with. This woman tends to gossip and be really critical of others. Being around people like that make me feel uneasy. When I left I immediately wondered what they were going to say about me. I know that gossip tends to say more about the gossiper than the people being gossiped about, but it still bothers me.
The second thing is that I got into a disagreement with a woman at church and I'm also feeling frustrated with some things that are/are not happening there. I've been thinking about leaving and finding another church, but the effort required to do this is more than I feel capable of. Also, realistically I know that I'll never find a church without conflict. I feel that figuring out how to stay there will be a growth opportunity for me. However, there a part of me that feels like an angry child. I'm frustrated and feel like my needs are being ignored.
Seeing it in writing makes it seem so silly.
One day at a time.
db
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