LeadHatter

I'm Kevin recovering drinker 4 1/2 months sober recovering codependent 2 /12 months in recovery.

So it seems to me the signs are [even though im 32 and only dealing with this now] that i was/i am a adult child of a alcoholic parent.

Reading cues from my own family history, past and present behavior and stuff i am reading in recovery books [for example how alcoholics come to need the bottle more than the partner thus the partner will turn in some cases to the child for emotional fulfillment - i find this resonates real strongly with me!!!] does seem to point [right now at least] to there being a possibility i am/was a adult child of an alcoholic parent.

I don't know what to do with this information though. Can anyone advise me how i can use this knowledge? In actual fact i would like to 'sure it up', i don't think this is going to be easy though since i am distanced from my family at present for my own protection [thats how i see it at the very least, in time i hope it will become easier but im just 2 1/2 months into a codie recovery].

I would be grateful at any help guidance Experience Strength and Hope or anything like this. Ive been here before [uncovering truths] and have gotten past them but i really don't know what to do about the discovery i am/was a adult child of alcoholic parent. Oh for sure it would explain some things.

But honestly where do i go from here? I guess facing up to and understanding why i was raised[dragged up more like] how i was would be helpful to my recovery but assuming family members WERE alcoholics how am i supposed to respond to them. Piteous, angry, understanding what?

I guess alcoholism may be a reason for their behavior but it doesn't change the fact that in my case one parent in particular was like a wrecking ball gone mad and its only now at 32 i am coming to terms with the damage done to me growing up and perhaps beyond into adulthood.

Please help

slugger9787

Got to meetings
get a sponsor
work the steps with sponsor.

m8te. lol

LeadHatter

aa or al anon meetings do you mean or coda. i dont think there are meetings for adult children of alcoholic/addicted parents are there

bellakeller

Do you have a red book? It has been very helpful to my healing.

ACA Fellowship Text - Adult Children of Alcoholics - World Service Organization, Inc.

LeadHatter

thanks bellakeller. After rather along time i have finally ordered the AA BB so I guess i will need to consider perhaps purchasing a ACA book also. Thanks

oh and i did notice there are ACOA meetngs. For me they are not in the nearest big city so it would be quite a mission, though, but they do exis,t as does reading material on the ACOA topic and some online meetings aswell i think. I would post some urls but its late in england and im tired.

Thanks ACOA's

slugger9787

need to consider getting a sponsor and working the twelve steps with the sponsor.
look at all of the "Anonymous" steps.
The tried tested and true and original is the AA steps.
Next watered down version is NA
and on and on.
Full strength medicine is AA.

LeadHatter

Well i have 'been' to face to face AA but i think having a copy of the much vaunted BB should be helpful. There may come a time when i 'buy' a ACOA book also. Thanks ACOA's - is there any anyone can tell me they got alot from [ACOA books] aside from that one bellakeller recommended?

Personally im reading melody beatties first book at the moment. Not specifically a ACOA book but its on the codie theme.

slugger9787

new beatty book "stop being mean to yourself"

LeadHatter

Well i have just ordered this book:

Adult Children of Alcoholics: Amazon.co.uk: Janet G. Woititz: Books

bellakeller

Good choice. I just finished "Struggle for Intimacy" by the same author and it was really helpful to me. Good luck in the journey.