Alcoholic/Drug Abusing Father - Advice Welcome
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 1
Alcoholic/Drug Abusing Father - Advice Welcome
Hello
I've decided to post about this because I am feeling helpless, and feel as though I need to vent my frustration and anger about my situation and hope that maybe it will result in some helpful advice.
I'm 22 years old and currently live with my parents. My father is 44 and on disability. He has been an alcoholic for most of his life and all of mine. He literally drinks beer around the clock nonstop. On top of this, he also smokes cigarettes, marijuana, and also often takes pills such as vicodin.
Recently, he was prescribed muscle relaxers, even though the doctor was informed that he drinks alcohol. I am more than positive that my dad is not in constant physical pain that he can't handle, and has been abusing the medication. Even though it is highly reccomended to not mix muscle relaxers (or any medication for that matter) with alcohol, it has not slowed him down from consuming his usual amount of alcohol.
It is also apparent that he takes more than prescribed. It puts him in a very weird state of... behavior. His speech is very slurred, his coordination is absolutely terrible to the point where basic tasks are impossible for him. He has broken a TV from falling into it, a window, and he also collapsed onto my mom's legs while she was sleeping when he was attempting to make it to the bathroom, which hurt her to the point where she is currently unable to walk without pain.
I am the type that has refrained from smoking and drinking my entire life, and as such I have done my best to motivate my parents to stop such bad habits to no avail. With that same attitude, I took his muscle relaxers and hid them in an attempt to make a point that he needs to stop abusing his medication. I explained to him why I did it, and that it was because I care for his health, but nothing, no matter how I say it, or with what emotion, gets through to him at all. Even if I explain how dangerous it is, all I get is the half-******** response of "They're only muscle relaxers..."
He ended up getting irritated to the point where he threatened to smash all of my belongings. So out of emotion, I took the pill bottle, opened the lid and threw them in his face, which I feel bad about, but was out of frustration and helplessness. He made sure to pick up every pill and within an hour afterwards was already acting like a vegetable again. I told him that I'd never touch his belongings again, but that he can never say that I didn't attempt to help him.
I have no idea what I can do for him. My mom is very stressed out from his behavior, the concern of those around him doesn't seem to affect him at all. Our family has dealt with a lot of death and I'm trying my best to avoid losing my father next. I'm not sure who I can call or what I can do to help him.
Although I'm sure there isn't much that I can realistically do, I appreciate any advice.
Thank you.
I've decided to post about this because I am feeling helpless, and feel as though I need to vent my frustration and anger about my situation and hope that maybe it will result in some helpful advice.
I'm 22 years old and currently live with my parents. My father is 44 and on disability. He has been an alcoholic for most of his life and all of mine. He literally drinks beer around the clock nonstop. On top of this, he also smokes cigarettes, marijuana, and also often takes pills such as vicodin.
Recently, he was prescribed muscle relaxers, even though the doctor was informed that he drinks alcohol. I am more than positive that my dad is not in constant physical pain that he can't handle, and has been abusing the medication. Even though it is highly reccomended to not mix muscle relaxers (or any medication for that matter) with alcohol, it has not slowed him down from consuming his usual amount of alcohol.
It is also apparent that he takes more than prescribed. It puts him in a very weird state of... behavior. His speech is very slurred, his coordination is absolutely terrible to the point where basic tasks are impossible for him. He has broken a TV from falling into it, a window, and he also collapsed onto my mom's legs while she was sleeping when he was attempting to make it to the bathroom, which hurt her to the point where she is currently unable to walk without pain.
I am the type that has refrained from smoking and drinking my entire life, and as such I have done my best to motivate my parents to stop such bad habits to no avail. With that same attitude, I took his muscle relaxers and hid them in an attempt to make a point that he needs to stop abusing his medication. I explained to him why I did it, and that it was because I care for his health, but nothing, no matter how I say it, or with what emotion, gets through to him at all. Even if I explain how dangerous it is, all I get is the half-******** response of "They're only muscle relaxers..."
He ended up getting irritated to the point where he threatened to smash all of my belongings. So out of emotion, I took the pill bottle, opened the lid and threw them in his face, which I feel bad about, but was out of frustration and helplessness. He made sure to pick up every pill and within an hour afterwards was already acting like a vegetable again. I told him that I'd never touch his belongings again, but that he can never say that I didn't attempt to help him.
I have no idea what I can do for him. My mom is very stressed out from his behavior, the concern of those around him doesn't seem to affect him at all. Our family has dealt with a lot of death and I'm trying my best to avoid losing my father next. I'm not sure who I can call or what I can do to help him.
Although I'm sure there isn't much that I can realistically do, I appreciate any advice.
Thank you.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Hi ViO, and Welcome to SR!
It is frustrating to watch someone you love be sooo self-destructive! Believe me when I say "we understand". You have found a great place for support. Your father is a grown man who is responsible for himself and his actions. No amount of talking, threatening, bribing, cajoling or ultimatums will get him to see that he needs help. If the whole family allows him to feel the full consequences of his drinking, he may decide to get help.....but it is no guarantee.
We learn here in this forum and in face-to-face meetings like Al-Anon about the 3 C's.
We did not cause the addiction.
We cannot control the addict.
We cannot cure the addict.
I hated the 3Cs at first!!!!! I thought there had to be something, anything I could do.....but I learned that I'm just not that powerful. It was quite humbling.
Now, it is actually quite freeing for me. I learned I can detach with love. I do not have to have a front seat to the chaos that is active addiction and there is peace in my life!
Stick around. Keep reading, keep asking questions, keep educating yourself about this disease of addiction.
Best, HG
It is frustrating to watch someone you love be sooo self-destructive! Believe me when I say "we understand". You have found a great place for support. Your father is a grown man who is responsible for himself and his actions. No amount of talking, threatening, bribing, cajoling or ultimatums will get him to see that he needs help. If the whole family allows him to feel the full consequences of his drinking, he may decide to get help.....but it is no guarantee.
We learn here in this forum and in face-to-face meetings like Al-Anon about the 3 C's.
We did not cause the addiction.
We cannot control the addict.
We cannot cure the addict.
I hated the 3Cs at first!!!!! I thought there had to be something, anything I could do.....but I learned that I'm just not that powerful. It was quite humbling.
Now, it is actually quite freeing for me. I learned I can detach with love. I do not have to have a front seat to the chaos that is active addiction and there is peace in my life!
Stick around. Keep reading, keep asking questions, keep educating yourself about this disease of addiction.
Best, HG
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