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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: colstrip, montana
Posts: 237
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I came from a home with two alcoholic parents. One of my brothers beat me all the time. Lots of times since I left home, I wished he would have just killed me because the therapy, counselling I've had to go through has co$t me plenty! It's taken years to try to fix my self-esteem.
Anyhow, for the last twenty years, I have had NO CONTACT with two of my brothers (the other one just a violent, arrogant _ _ _ !) They both apologized to me back in the 80's but it's not until last year (2010) that I finally decided to forgive them. I have visited with both of them and we are now a "family" again.
I'm glad I gave myself time. I needed it.
(Also, I got lonely. I wanted to be part of a family again.)
Anyhow, for the last twenty years, I have had NO CONTACT with two of my brothers (the other one just a violent, arrogant _ _ _ !) They both apologized to me back in the 80's but it's not until last year (2010) that I finally decided to forgive them. I have visited with both of them and we are now a "family" again.
I'm glad I gave myself time. I needed it.
(Also, I got lonely. I wanted to be part of a family again.)
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Wow, tabfan, what a wonderful story of healing and recovery. My "family of origin" never healed in any way, so you have my deep respect. Thanx for sharing that and bringing some hope to this forum.
Mike
Mike
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: colstrip, montana
Posts: 237
Thanks, Mike!
Yes, it's been a long time coming, but we are a family again.
My brothers suffered their own type of abuse (not discussed with me, but I'm sure it's there somewhere, buried). I spoke to one brother who lives about 36 miles from me. He was surprised that I came to visit. We sat and talked for a long time. It was strange at first. I even prayed that I could handle it before I went in the building! He was very kind to me. He didn't go off on trying to apologize again and again like he did back in the 1980's. He just offered me coffee and we talked. We shared pictures of our kids.
There WAS one very awkward moment when we went outside and sat in the shade of the building. The "little, injured girl" in me wanted to badly to physically hurt him. We sat together but as I looked over at him I could see how all the years of alcohol and drug abuse had hurt his body. I wanted to hit him as hard as I could! I turned away. I had to talk to the "child within" and tell her "No". We were safe and there was no need for retaliation.
The feeling passed. We are actually good friends now.
Yes, it's been a long time coming, but we are a family again.
My brothers suffered their own type of abuse (not discussed with me, but I'm sure it's there somewhere, buried). I spoke to one brother who lives about 36 miles from me. He was surprised that I came to visit. We sat and talked for a long time. It was strange at first. I even prayed that I could handle it before I went in the building! He was very kind to me. He didn't go off on trying to apologize again and again like he did back in the 1980's. He just offered me coffee and we talked. We shared pictures of our kids.
There WAS one very awkward moment when we went outside and sat in the shade of the building. The "little, injured girl" in me wanted to badly to physically hurt him. We sat together but as I looked over at him I could see how all the years of alcohol and drug abuse had hurt his body. I wanted to hit him as hard as I could! I turned away. I had to talk to the "child within" and tell her "No". We were safe and there was no need for retaliation.
The feeling passed. We are actually good friends now.
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