socalsun

Hello,

This is my first time in the forum. I just spent a Thanksgiving weekend with my dad who is an alcoholic.

He barely talked to me the whole weekend...he wakes up at 5:30am and starts drinking and smoking cigarettes and continues all day. He just sits in a chair and stares off into space. He barely eats anything. He's been doing this for many, many years. How long can you live like that? What kind of life is that?

Just wondering if anyone else has experience what I'm going through with the being ignored. He's not mean, he is just totally disconnected, in his own world. It makes me so sad.

DesertEyes

Hello socalsun, and pleased to "meet" you

That is the life of an addict or alkie. If you want to learn more about handling a loved one who is addicted to alcohol feel free to visit our forum "next door"

Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Some of us have. My parents acted differently than your dad, but they were just as addicted. Whatever the behavior, it still hurts. As a child I never felt loved by my parents. They might have, but they never showed it in any way. When I grew into an adult I carried those feelings of abandonment into my life and they affected pretty much everything I did. A couple good therapists, a lot of 12 step recovery and I was able to figure it all out and build a new life for myself.

Yes, it is very, very sad to watch them self destruct that way. Take a little time to read thru the posts in this forum and in the one next door. There's a lot of wisdom being shared and you might get some insights into how the addiction is affecting your father and how you may be able to be supportive of him.

I'm glad you decided to join us.

Mike

loneTiger

I've recently experienced this...though more from your father's end. I found myself commonly in such anger at my kids, that I decided instead I would shut off. So I'd just sit there, basically just looking off, mostly ignoring questions or pleadings for play. I found myself just wallowing in depression. Thankfully I don't drink/use (but I'm an aca) so maybe that allowed me to see *that* wasn't working either. So here I am, seeking recovery, looking for a better way.

guiab

Welcome to SR, socalsun!
I saw with with my mother in her last years (she died in a car accident related to her alcohol-induced illness). She would sit on the edge of her bed and just stare out the window for ....hours maybe. She was often depressed and had gone to at least two treatment centers. It was really sad.
Your dad's illness is not under your control. The best you can do is be an example of healthy behavior and take care of yourself. As Mike suggested, reading through this forum and the other Friends and Family forums can help quite alot. Even the forums for people in recovery can help (I read them) as it helps me get a perspective on what life was like for both of my parents.