bhn

Here's hoping for some useful feedback...my brother is 3 years older than me (62) and has been an alcoholic/multiple drug abuser for going on 45 years. Had one steady job during a sober cycle - he's a self-taught and gifted artist but always broke (duh). I'm the polar opposite - a straight and narrow college educated health professional. Mom was a nurse who smoked and drank her way into an early grave. I've chronicled the most recent issue elsewhere but basically I told him I would not be a part of his life anymore unless he got clean and sober. I got a scathing email back and never expected to hear from him again. He also cleverly avoided the subject of sobriety and I drew my own conclusions. We have been close at times and he's the only brother I have.

Well, lo and behold, I got a 3-lne note this AM inviting my wife and I to his house (he's 2000 miles away, thank God) for a fund-raising "party" featuring live music with multiple jam bands, junk auction, and JELLO SHOTS to benefit the Lions Club. How does that sound? Really, the LIONS CLUB!!! I almost choked on my coffee....

So I decided to reply with a polite "no, thank you" and belated Thanksgiving wishes and leave it at that. My wife is the only one that really knows what I am secretly thinking.....that the whole thing is a fraud. Am I out of line or what? This is a man who I've given the benefit of the doubt to over and over and I've gotten burned every time. At the very least, even if he does give some cash to the Lions, I'll bet he keeps a lot more for himself....

We wouldn't be caught dead at his house for any reason and I can't believe he was thinking I would want to be a part of it. But then, what was he thinking????

bothered w/brother (bhn)

Freedom1990

It's useless to try and figure out the reasoning of an alcoholic.

tromboneliness

Out of line? Ha! You've got him pegged. Just let it drop and have as little contact as possible, would be my advice (hmmm... unless we're really not supposed to give advice.... in which case I'm not judgin', I'm just sayin'!)

T

dollydo

You will never figure it out. Let it go.

GingerM

when one of my A's does something that makes me go "WHOA! Didn't see THAT comin'!" I figure their logic is something like this:

"Hey, I really want ____________. Blah blah blah blah blah excuses warped thinking. So I'll do _______________ to get what I want. blah blah blah convoluted thinking blah blah. *High power line hum in their heads* What a great idea I had!"

It makes as much sense as any other explanation. As others above have said, you won't figure it out. Even if your brother explained each step of his rationale, you would still be left sitting there scratching your head wondering how the "I want.." statement got to the "I'll do..." statement.

Chaos theory is the best explanation I've come up with so far