I think my mothers losing her mind!
 

she went to the doctor to try and stop drinking so he gave her god knows how many sedatives last week.
she is supposed to go back to see him this week and also supposed to make an appointment to see a therapist.
my aunt also is trying to get her to an AA meeting.

everything was going to plan until I caught her drinking tonight.
I asked her about it and she totally freaked out , claiming she wasn't drinking.
she went into a rant, insulting me, putting me down, making me hate her even more.

she's turned into such a nasty women, she keeps comparing me to her, like making me look like such a bad person so that in her own mind she can somehow justify her drinking.

I get all her hate and anger.

sometimes I like when she's really ill, i feel like she deserves to suffer and i hope that it might actually make her stop drinking.

she may still go back to the doctor n to therapy n to AA.

but I think her mind-personality-brain might be already too damaged.

I am sorry that you are having this in your life. I know that anger. my mother was an alcoholic,and she drank to passing out every night.
she was a mean drunk, and we were all angry at her, and she finally lost a kidney, from meds and alcohol use. She died at a young age. 62.

Can you go to alanon? It would help you to recover from this anger and pain.
the alcohol can surely make us feel like we hate them sometimes.

if you take care of yourself, you will take the focus off of her, and it may help the situation. At least, it will help you.
is there anyone you can live with, besides her?
take care, and keep posting, for a lot of help.
try posting in family and friends of alcoholics, too, for there is more traffic there.
hang in there,
chicory

Thank God, someone else who understands the anger and frustration and doesn't think I'm a terrible person.

Well I've always suffered from anxiety, even as a child, I find as her drinking gets worse the worse I get too.
I'm going to try some CBT therapy for the agoraphobia.
I was doing really well but it seems when my mum gets crazy I end up almost going back to square one!

No , my family members simply don't have room, they even have couch beds lol.

I don't tend to pay much attention her, just when she gets into rages, hours and hours of being nasty to me. always at night so I can't just go for a walk lol.

she often makes fun of my agoraphobia and my family members don't even know i have it because I am quite ashamed of it and they are not the sort of people that are open minded about mental health problems.
But they still did to try to help my mum.

My family saw my mum drunk today, and she's on sedatives that the dumb doctor gave her! I must mention to him that she drink on them next time I see him.
As it's her second attempt at getting better, I guess he believed her just like the rest of us.

i truly understand the anger. And living with the problems that have been brought about by her drinking could cause you those anxieties. I hope that you get help for them, and that you get support from others who go through this.
We were so angry at my mom, we made fun of her, just to relieve the pain that we felt. I made some peace with her, before she died, but it was never what it could have been.

i did go to aca group for a while, and it helped a lot. perhap you could join one and work the steps? there are some here, actually. It helps a lot, for you have your life ahead of you, and should be able to live it to the fullest.

is there any funding for someone with your problem? could you get someone to come and help you., from a counselling center?
how about some books on your condition? that may help you.
wishing you peace, and freedom from the anger.

i hope that your mom gets some help too. if she harms herself, or anyone, you could get them to put her into treatment for 72 hours.

take care,
chicory

My sister and I said that about my mother "that she was loosing her mind," from the time we were 17!