Did you grow up with a highly functioning alcoholic?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 101
Yes, JessiJoy we do need to share and realize what we all went through.
Reassuring to read about our stories and the pain and dysfunction we went through and were told/thought was normal.
Act like a good family, but hidden behind the doors was just a functioning alcoholic (my mom) who was able to maintain that for years.
Then she just one day announced she was going to drink and drink and drink some more.
This was just the dreaded beginning of the end and my whole co dependence.
Such terrible memories for all of us. Jumping through hoops as a co dependent.
I remember rushing over to her home to put a beer with a straw up to her mouth because she was shaking so much and could not hold the bottle. She would end
up passing away from complications from alcohol. So awful to watch and try to help.
We all know what we are going through.
I actually thought I could stop her drinking. I went to one Alanon meeting and thought I was going to be different and help her stop drinking. If only this forum existed then.
The dysfunctional family dynamic still is in disarray to this day and is harder to think about as Holiday season approaches.
With all the stonewalling and non talking and for me no contact it seems as if I lost my whole family, but I will not witness the dysfunction that is still existing - that is not healthy and have learned that in this forum.
Only you guys truly understand what this is like.
Reassuring to read about our stories and the pain and dysfunction we went through and were told/thought was normal.
Act like a good family, but hidden behind the doors was just a functioning alcoholic (my mom) who was able to maintain that for years.
Then she just one day announced she was going to drink and drink and drink some more.
This was just the dreaded beginning of the end and my whole co dependence.
Such terrible memories for all of us. Jumping through hoops as a co dependent.
I remember rushing over to her home to put a beer with a straw up to her mouth because she was shaking so much and could not hold the bottle. She would end
up passing away from complications from alcohol. So awful to watch and try to help.
We all know what we are going through.
I actually thought I could stop her drinking. I went to one Alanon meeting and thought I was going to be different and help her stop drinking. If only this forum existed then.
The dysfunctional family dynamic still is in disarray to this day and is harder to think about as Holiday season approaches.
With all the stonewalling and non talking and for me no contact it seems as if I lost my whole family, but I will not witness the dysfunction that is still existing - that is not healthy and have learned that in this forum.
Only you guys truly understand what this is like.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 316
Thank you for this, JessiJoy. I was first told that my father was an alcoholic when my parents separated. I was almost 14. It made no sense to me at first, because he has always been very successful. He was distant from me and sometimes really harsh for no particular reason, but definitely not abusive. I always knew that he cared about me and loved me. I was 18 when I was told that 3/4 of my grandparents are/were alcoholics. I was 19 when I realized that I am too.
I think it's great that you're open with your daughter about your family's situation. It helped me to start to understand things when I had a word for the disease.
I think it's great that you're open with your daughter about your family's situation. It helped me to start to understand things when I had a word for the disease.
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