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Hello! I need some support and help

Old 10-15-2003, 08:18 PM
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Hello! I need some support and help

Hello everyone. It has been a long time since I posted here but hopefully someone will remember me. I just need some TLC and encouragement.
Over the past few weeks I have tried to keep myself going but have entertained the thoughts of letting a man back into my life. To what end...... All I have talked to have been the types that I was used to in the past that couldn't keep a promise if they had to.
My sister told me tonight that my house payment went up (she borrowed the money because I have bad credit) so now it's keep that nose to the grindstone but I don't know what I want to do. See when I bought the house I thought we'd slap up some paint and all would be fine, well it isn't and there is so much that needs to be done to it. I don't know if I am up to all of this by myself.

I didn't get up and go to my ACOA meeting this morning because of some other commitments. So then when I got out of group tonight I called my OA sponsor and although she did help me to laugh I need something more only all the things I think I need and want are not around.
I need to learn to love and accept myself as I am and know that I am okay, but I really need some TLC or so I think. I need someone to be gentle with my feelings and needs. I guess I need to do that but I feel like I am running on empty.
I am sorry for taking up so much space on here but I needed to reconnect with you guys. There are alot of new sites here and alot of love. I need some of that love tonight.
I got the message that the chat was open but I didn't know how to get on line at the right time

So really I just wanted to open up the channel of communication here again and ask for prayers and thoughts to help me. Thanks so much!
Lisa
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Old 10-15-2003, 09:36 PM
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Re: Hello! I need some support and help

Originally posted by srepty
all the things I think I need and want are not around.


I need to learn to love and accept myself as I am and know that I am okay, but I really need some TLC or so I think. I need someone to be gentle with my feelings and needs. I guess I need to do that but I feel like I am running on empty.
Lisa
Usually none of the things we need are outside ourselves. Whatever is not around right now will most likely prove to never be enough to satisfy our cravings or our needs because it's not a solution. It's a temporary fix that just causes pain in the end.

I have found that this kind of cycle is what causes me to feel like I'm running on empty. I have felt like you do many times and for some reason I have surrounded myself with people who are incapable of giving this kind of love and acceptance.

If we know that the answer is to be able to give ourselves love and acceptance then what is it that is draining our resources. Are we feeding an addiction, helping everyone else and neglecting ourselves? I usually have to figure out what I am doing that makes me feel so drained and change that behavior. My need for acceptance and love is important and I need to take care of myself to feel it.

I understand where you are coming from. Sometimes life just seems overwhelming. It always helps me to have faith that this too shall pass and a new day begins.

I hope you feel better.
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Old 10-16-2003, 05:30 AM
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JT
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I have to agree with Steph...when something is wrong in my life, when I am feeling overwelmed, trapped, anxious I have to find out what it is that is causing me to feel that way.

I have found that I have to turn in to recieve what I want...I will never get filled up when I look out.

A man is not going to give you what you need if you don't even know yourself well enough to know what that is. You will simply continue to feel like you do now but you will have someone to blame instead of yourself.

If it is the house that is overwelming you, then maybe this was not the right time for that.

I would take the time to find out what is making you feel the way you do and do what you can to mend that.

Hugs,
JT
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Old 10-16-2003, 12:30 PM
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Ditto what JT and Steph said. The more we try to look outside for comfort, the more we need to stop and look within.

I find that the more I start digging around and working my recovery, the less comfortable I feel. Some days it feels so miserable just to be in my own skin, b/c I'm no longer content with being the same ole me. It's such a hard struggle to change from the way we've always been to something and someone that's new and unfamiliar.

Sometimes, it's hard to just be....we're always so focused on trying to fix this, panicking over that, worrying about something else, and we don't know how to let it all go. You say you need someone to be gentle with your feelings and needs. Well, that person is you. Tell yourself it's ok if the house needs work, it will happen all in the right time and there's no need to rush. Tell yourself it's ok if you're still struggling to love and accept yourself - every day you're making progress. Find ways to nurture yourself and fill up the empty spaces inside. No one will ever be able to do that for you.

Don't worry about taking up space here. There's plenty of room for all of us.

Hugs,
JG
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