A good son
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 1
A good son
I'm 31 now...have had one girlfriend since i graduated high school, pretty tired of feeling guilty, alone...ostracized, alienated...I live in a small town, nothing to do...I don't remember the last tiem i felt good about myself..I got thrown out of the navy in 99 over a discrepancy...Graduated from high school before that and got accepted to college station, i'm tired of hurting and feeling empty inside...my dad is an alcoholic, his dad died from alcoholism and diabetes, my dad has diabetes last i heard he had a stroke...I don't know what keeps me going anymore...I'm just about out of hope, pretty much have given up my faith in God...Mom swears getting closer to God would fix all my problems..i'm convinced I need therapy and can't afford it...will be 32 in september...
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: CA
Posts: 10,681
I am glad I don't ever have to be 31 again. It was a very, very hard time for me. I never thought things would change and never thought anything would take my pain away. There were many times I thought I wouldn't make it. I'm pretty sure I went to ACA meetings at that age. It was free and I didn't feel quite so alone.
Welcome to Adult Children of Alcoholics - World Service Organization, Inc.
We can't see God's reason when we are going through it, but now I cherish those hard times when looking back. You never know what a day will bring. I'm glad I stuck around to see my future. I have some really great grandkids that make life worth living.
Welcome to Adult Children of Alcoholics - World Service Organization, Inc.
We can't see God's reason when we are going through it, but now I cherish those hard times when looking back. You never know what a day will bring. I'm glad I stuck around to see my future. I have some really great grandkids that make life worth living.
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 688
SOLHonor, I wish I had some wonderful advice for you. Getting closer to God will help. I found a great deal of help in al-anon, too. I originally went because I was dealing with my husband's lies and infidelity (he is also a child of an alcoholic). At the time, I felt very much as you describe. I felt like a failure in every way and completely hopeless. The readings and meetings really helped me to let go and focus on living my own life and the things I'm capable of doing well and doing right.
Start with changing one small thing in your life, and go from there.
Start with changing one small thing in your life, and go from there.
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: uk
Posts: 464
Solhonor, if your drinkin with this sense of despair..will make so much worse, you sound on a real downward spiral..negativity breeds more negativity, hobbies interests work type
you enjoy, pursue..an enjoy doin, things are never as hopeless as you think...first step change of outlook, challenge yourself, positivity breeds positivity, things fall into place little by little, ive always found...dont give up and despair,am sure there must also be social groups and networks you can reach out to...good luck.
you enjoy, pursue..an enjoy doin, things are never as hopeless as you think...first step change of outlook, challenge yourself, positivity breeds positivity, things fall into place little by little, ive always found...dont give up and despair,am sure there must also be social groups and networks you can reach out to...good luck.
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Anywhere but the mainstream.
Posts: 402
Hi SOLHonor, and welcome to SR! If you're looking for a spot to find change, this is a great little corner of the internet to start looking 
Try reading through the posts here - this forum is a wealth of stories. Often the lessons we need as ACoAs come in the form of stories, reading other people's experiences, and leaving us to figure how the lesson applies to our own unique situations. You're not alone in feeling trapped in despair - when it's all you've been shown by a parent, it's really hard to see any other path. For a lot of people here, moving beyond that dark lonely despair takes a lot of work. It's very difficult to do on your own, and often it'll feel like no one in the real world understands. That's because you pretty much have to have lived with an alcoholic parent to not be scared by talk of depression and dark days.
What country do you live in? Some countries offer government sponsored therapy specifically for people affected by alcoholics (spouses/children/parents/etc). Unfortunately accessing these programs can require a lot of patience and time. I have been through this process in Canada. It's well worth it, but it can be very discouraging to wait a few months when you know you need help NOW. If you take this road (which have been successful for me), you'll really have to hang in there.
In the meantime, keep reading! Keep posting - whatever thoughts or revelations you have. Sometimes replies on this forum are slow, but there are some real veterans hanging around that will drop a pearl of wisdom now and then.
Try reading through the posts here - this forum is a wealth of stories. Often the lessons we need as ACoAs come in the form of stories, reading other people's experiences, and leaving us to figure how the lesson applies to our own unique situations. You're not alone in feeling trapped in despair - when it's all you've been shown by a parent, it's really hard to see any other path. For a lot of people here, moving beyond that dark lonely despair takes a lot of work. It's very difficult to do on your own, and often it'll feel like no one in the real world understands. That's because you pretty much have to have lived with an alcoholic parent to not be scared by talk of depression and dark days.
What country do you live in? Some countries offer government sponsored therapy specifically for people affected by alcoholics (spouses/children/parents/etc). Unfortunately accessing these programs can require a lot of patience and time. I have been through this process in Canada. It's well worth it, but it can be very discouraging to wait a few months when you know you need help NOW. If you take this road (which have been successful for me), you'll really have to hang in there.
In the meantime, keep reading! Keep posting - whatever thoughts or revelations you have. Sometimes replies on this forum are slow, but there are some real veterans hanging around that will drop a pearl of wisdom now and then.
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