justducky

My father is a recovering alcoholic (approx 7 years of sobriety now!! - congrats to him) We've gotten very close in the past few years and I have all the respect for him now. He's apologized for quite a few issues in my childhood and in essence I couldnt be more proud of him.

My Mother on the other hand is in denial, and refuses to believe she has an issue... Recently she has move out of my fathers house and has isolated her self in a residence of her own, where she is to drink as she pleases with out any grief from anyone. And this is where it goes down hill... she is worse than ever. I've talked with her sisters one of which has confronted her, the other refuses to believe there are any issues and continues to enable her.

Any time anyone brings up drinking she throws a fit and cuts them off for a while at a time, I recently brought it up and now I'm cut off. I just don’t feel like I have it in me to try to make amends its so draining to me (and my husband who ends up having to emotionally comfort me and patch me up). Every time I end up with a lump in my throat while at work from trying to hold back the tears.

After 30 years my father who is now able to just walk away still cares about her, she makes her self seem to be the victim and refuses to see all the pain she has caused (to my father, me and brother). I know I am who I am because of the mother she chose to be. I feel so drained from this, this time I just want to let her go until she makes the decision to seek help. Is that the right decision? I want her to be better, and would do anything... I just don’t know what todo.

Any advise?

least

You must do what will keep you sane and healthy, if it means letting her go, at least for now, then that is what you must do.

I cry with shame and regret over my being an alcoholic mom, even tho it wasn't for very long, and am determined to stay sober so as not to inflict any more pain on my loved ones.

Please do whatever will help YOU.

KatieKerry

You're very lucky with your father and that he apologised. I waited all my life for my father to apologise for the drinking, shouting and beating but he never did, he died 6 years ago and I am finding it difficult coming to terms with the fact that I didn't deserve an apology.......selfish to the end! My mother is still drinking and will do I suppose until she too is in her grave but I've learned to lower my expectations now and will not be expecting an apology from her for her drinking and neglect all my life. I have cut my mother off totally in the last few months because I need to repair myself....for the sake of my own 2 children, they come first. Hopefully she will still be alive when I am ready to speak to her again but if not, I will not blame myself.