what to tell my children?
 

Hi,
I have 2 children, one is 6 and one is 1, I have been seperated from their father for 6 months and have told him that as he hasn't addressed his drinking in that time (which was our agreement) I am now proceeding to divorce. He has supervised contact with the children 1 to 3 times a week (for 1-2 hours and 1 evening of unsupervised contact with the eldest if he passes a breathalyser (for a couple of hours).

My question is, what as a child do you need to know to make sense of this? Originally I had wanted for us to sit down together (when H was saying he would give up drinking) and tell the oldest that daddy was spending time away from us to sort out an illness to do with drinking alcohol. H wouldn't hear of it. I now need to let my son know that we will not be getting back together and that unless his father stops drinking he won't be able to stay overnight with him, but somehow emphasise that his dad does love him, that I love him and that he hasn't (my son) done anything wrong, but that I am not keeping him from his dad.

Uggh, I expect my son to be sad and angry, at me, perhaps at his dad, but I want to help him be okay in himself. He knows that if the breathalyser shows chemicals that means that daddy is sick (H says it shows up "bugs", I always correct this to chemicals) and he can't look after them, but I don't know where to go from there.

I am wary of using the term "alcoholic"/alcoholism to my son, I don't know why? shame? fear of H's rage at this (he will not be happy, I know that shouldn't be a consideration) should I just call a spade a spade: he's six.

any help gratefully recieved.

TIA

They are young. I told my 7 year olds that mommy is sick. It's not a sickness that you can see like a cold but it's something can get better by talking to people including doctors.
I would keep it simple.