Iwanttoheal

OMG, where did this spring from?

As I was finishing my last post, I started to feel I'm okay - I'm really, truly okay, I've got there at long last. I have no reason to feel guilty or not good enough or "less than" other people any more.

I am a good person; I was / am a good daughter; I am a good sister; I am a good wife and I am an excellent mother. I have finally found it in me to validate myself and it feels true, not a front, not arrogance, just the quiet truth - inside.

I am a good person in my own right who is worthy and deserving of a parent's love, pride and admiration. I did not deserve my childhood or early adulthood, I did / do not deserve my parent's expectations or negative judgemental attitudes. It is my Mum's loss that she is cannot recognise the good person I am and what I have achieved so far in my life. I no longer need her love or validation (which I never had) to feel good about myself.

See me, I'm okay. Thak you SR

cmc

That's wonderful! I know from my own experience how great it can feel to have such a break-through.

dothi

That's a fantastic epiphany, IWTH.

This shows that we really can work past the roadblocks from our childhoods... that we're not condemned to be stuck in those old mistakes. It's such a shift between frames of mind that you could not even fathom what where you are now would feel like using your frame of mind from back then

stg1979

That's great!

GingerM

Isn't that the most fantastic feeling ever? It's not manic, it's not hyper, it's not defensive. It's like sinking into a hot mental bath and soaking the cares of the world away.

Good for you! I'm very happy for you!

takincareome

I'm happy for you too. I have those moments; they're great. Other times I'm wondering if I have any self esteem at all, and if so where it's gotten off to. I think it wanders off sometimes.