I'm going sailing!!!

Old 10-02-2009, 01:04 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: NJ
Posts: 197
I'm going sailing!!!

I thought I'd like to share a positive post about making small steps forward.

This has been an up and down week - good days and bad days.

I have spent a lot of time reaching out for help for me and ds (recently diagnosed with Autism). This has been very hard for me because I have had to overcome my childhood conditioning of denial of the alcoholism - everything is fine, it's not that bad, it'll get better soon. Only with my son's Autism, I can't and don't want to deny anymore - this is a chronic condition, it is not going to go away and we have reached the end of the road travelling along "normal" pathways. I have had to work hard not to diminish our situation, my son and I need help.

I am working against my childhood ingrained teaching and I am finding it tough going. My God - I'm actually admitting that I and my son are not perfect, that we are experiencing problems and that we need help. I didn't actually realise that my parents had done such a "mind job" on me. There is nothing wrong with us needing help, my son and I are not failures - anything but.

Guess what my reward is for reaching out for help - it's so cool Next Tuesday, we are going out to spend the day sailing. If my son takes to it, we can go every week as often as we like. Also, I have made contact with an social enterprise group where my son can spend one day a week.

If I had remained in denial, we would still be at home pretending all was well and we would have missed out on these fantastic opportunities.

It has also been a relief not to share with my alcoholic mother / codie mother,
I haven't had to explain the schemes in the minutest detail only for them to come up lacking. By not sharing with unhealthy people, I am feeling positive and excited, not depleted and disappointed.

My bad days this week have also had silver linings. I have had a couple of days this week where I have been depressed and exhausted. In the past when I have reached out for support from my mother she has awfulised the situation - there must be something desperately wrong with me, I need help, I need medication, blah, blah, blah.

By not sharing, I can put things in perspective. I have had a tough past five years, the last eighteen months have been very tough and the past five months have been hellish. There is nothing wrong with me, I'm emotionally exhausted - now that I am in calm waters, I have the space to be exhausted and my body is telling me that I need to sleep and take care of myself - simple as that.

This is almost a repeat of my post last week - it helps to STAY AWAY from people who unhealthy people who deplete you and to reach out for help, I'm finding there are lots of positive people out there.

Take care all, IWTHxxx
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Old 10-02-2009, 02:55 PM
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What a wonderful thing. Wow, the strides forward you are taking, iwth!!!!!

(pretty soon we are going to have to change your name to iamhealing )
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Old 10-02-2009, 11:28 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: California
Posts: 51
You are so right IWH. It's exciting to see how you are changing your life for the good! You are not failures and no one is perfect. My niece has severe autism. It is so difficult for my brother to deal with her sometimes. She is 17 now and stronger. He has to yell at her sometimes to get through to her a little. She lives with him because his ex is an alcoholic and can't handle her at all. I am glad you are having some positive feelings now and are doing things for you and your son. We need to understand how some people have given us wrong info and conditioning and counteract it. I thought I didn't need help either, but when I started to go to Al Anon I saw my weaknesses too. I need to be able to talk things out with people who know where I'm coming from and have gone through, or are going through similar things. Make sure you take care of yourself. I also have a problem with getting enough sleep or eating well, especially when I'm nervous or depressed. We need to refresh ourselves or we will implode. I really like GL's new name for you.
Have an awesome time next Tues.
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Old 10-03-2009, 08:01 AM
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That sounds lovely! I hope you have fun. You are doing so well!
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