Wascally Wabbit

My mom lives about 2.5 hours away from me. She has always been on the move. She can't stay put for more that a couple of years before she starts complaining the place she is living in is making her sick.
Well, she's decided to move 4.5 hours away to stay with a wealthy friend she knows from AA.

I feel sad. It's like she's just moving away. I am really not sure if I will see her again. Maybe Im being mellowdramatic, but it feels that way.

Also, the other day on the phone she asks me to look up an old family friend (from 30 years ago). She said that she needed to apologize to them for something she did years ago. I was kinda dumbfounded. SHe wants to apologize to someone she hasn't seen in decades, yet cant see her daughter right in front of her face that she abused so terribly when she was drinking? The things she did are almost unspeakable. (no nothing sexual)

I feel unloved today. I don't feel sorry for myself, but I do feel sad about the mother/daughter relationship I will NEVER have with her.
I guess it was never meant to be really.

GiveLove

Wascally, I'm sorry you're feeling sad. Check out iwanttoheal's post on grieving...you may find a lot of things that apply to your situation as well.

This may turn out to be a strange blessing, as I know that she has been intermittently driving you mad over the past year or two. Maybe this will mean that you two will only spend time together when both of you really, truly feel it's right. So less time together, but quality time when you do.

Big hugs to you. I know how this must feel.

dothi

Is it possible that her decision to move away has forced you to confront this feeling? It sounds like maybe you were hoping for a chance at a better relationship. And now to see make ammends over a decades-old disagreement without even acknowledging how she has wronged you just drives the point home.

FWIW I think that's worth feeling grievous over. *throwing some hugs your way*

:ghug2

takincareome

Just when I feel like I'm done grieving the fact that I never had a decent and healthy family ... surprise! It slaps me in the face once again.

I'm so sorry it's slapping YOU. It's so hard, isn't it? They feel the need to apologize to everyone under the sun except the people they NEED to apologize to. And even if it won't undo what's been done, it sure would be nice to hear, wouldn't it?

I'm sending you lots of hugs and wishes that you will turn this into a learning and growing opportunity, even though I know it's really hard right now. Perhaps there is a reason for all this, and you will discover what it is ...even though it hurts right now.

xoxo