Am I an ACOA?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Wish I knew
Posts: 428
Am I an ACOA?
My father was an alcoholic. However, I did ot grow up with him-my mom kicked him out when I was 1 and he died when I was 7 (choked on his own vomit-ouch!!) My other siblings were much older than I was, nd my mom was a wonderful person. Sadly, cancer took her when I was 20, almost 20 years ago)
My sister once mentioned ACOA to me. I protested that I did not know him at all. She felt that I grew up with my sibs who were more affected(he was not an abusive drunk, tho- more a pain in the butt prankster) and that that might have affected me. I don't know.
When I met my husband, we both liked to go out and party. He sometimes went without me, but that was ok. In the 4 years before we got married, there was maybe 1 allnighter per year. Well, we were young and childless, why not??
Then I got pregnant, and cound not drink, plus was on bed rest as it wasa high risk pregnancy, so I could not go out. He started going out without me. leaving me alone. he would stay out longer and longer, until things really deteriorated. We are still together, but it is rocky.
Some of the point made in the list do apply to me, but I am not sure if that is because of my feelings now, or feeling I had in my "prior" life.
I always joke that I thought I married my brother but got my father instead!!! (my brother used to party hearty, but when he got married and had kids turned into a normal person) He can drink like a normal person.
In fact, out of 5 of us (2 girls,3boys) only 1 is an alcoholic.The rest are normal (as normal as anyone is!!!) and the only one married to an alcoholic is me!!!
The oddest thing about my childhood is that I did feel different from everyone else-this is in the late 60's-early 70s-- my mother was the only mother who worked. Everyone else in the neighborhood was a 2 parent family. I had a hard time understanding why my mom could not go have coffee with the other mothers during the day.
My sister once mentioned ACOA to me. I protested that I did not know him at all. She felt that I grew up with my sibs who were more affected(he was not an abusive drunk, tho- more a pain in the butt prankster) and that that might have affected me. I don't know.
When I met my husband, we both liked to go out and party. He sometimes went without me, but that was ok. In the 4 years before we got married, there was maybe 1 allnighter per year. Well, we were young and childless, why not??
Then I got pregnant, and cound not drink, plus was on bed rest as it wasa high risk pregnancy, so I could not go out. He started going out without me. leaving me alone. he would stay out longer and longer, until things really deteriorated. We are still together, but it is rocky.
Some of the point made in the list do apply to me, but I am not sure if that is because of my feelings now, or feeling I had in my "prior" life.
I always joke that I thought I married my brother but got my father instead!!! (my brother used to party hearty, but when he got married and had kids turned into a normal person) He can drink like a normal person.
In fact, out of 5 of us (2 girls,3boys) only 1 is an alcoholic.The rest are normal (as normal as anyone is!!!) and the only one married to an alcoholic is me!!!
The oddest thing about my childhood is that I did feel different from everyone else-this is in the late 60's-early 70s-- my mother was the only mother who worked. Everyone else in the neighborhood was a 2 parent family. I had a hard time understanding why my mom could not go have coffee with the other mothers during the day.
Supply Manager
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Cleaverville
Posts: 2,898
sdp,
Hi! It is hard to say whether are an adult child or not but I have seen you on the other boards and co dependent does not automatically mean adult child.
My father is an alcoholic as well but has been sober for 28 years...I know I was affected by the divorce and therefore the disease.
To be completely honest, the disease hit me with my spouse and child before I ever started looking back. I had to deal with the "now" before I could even begin the "when".
Like I said...having seen you around...the kindest thing you can do for yourself is to "Keep it Simple" and keep your focus on you.
Lot's of hugs,
JT
Hi! It is hard to say whether are an adult child or not but I have seen you on the other boards and co dependent does not automatically mean adult child.
My father is an alcoholic as well but has been sober for 28 years...I know I was affected by the divorce and therefore the disease.
To be completely honest, the disease hit me with my spouse and child before I ever started looking back. I had to deal with the "now" before I could even begin the "when".
Like I said...having seen you around...the kindest thing you can do for yourself is to "Keep it Simple" and keep your focus on you.
Lot's of hugs,
JT
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
