Withdrawal is really kicking in now - HELP PLEASE

Old 09-08-2009, 09:01 AM
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Withdrawal is really kicking in now - HELP PLEASE

I'm sitting here - my stomach is a deep pit of nauseous anxiety.

My head is clear - I know that I am withdrawing from 44 years of unhealthy contact. I've written down and read and reread why I am doing it. It makes perfect sense to me - a rational, sensible thing to do - do not go near people who have caused and continue to cause you pain. If only it were that easy and simple.

It feels like my emotions are betraying me. My mind has given up throwing glorious unrealistic fantasies of healthy relationships between me and my codie Mum / alcoholic brother.

My mind has also given up throwing tempting obsessive thoughts my way "You could rejoin the gym, apply for a new job. You know how hard you work. You can work until you are exhausted that will make you numb and then you won't have to feel and go through this". These have been my coping mechanisms my whole life - they only provide temporary relief for the short term so I'm not listening to these messages from my brain either.

Instead, my brain has brought out the big guns. Every part of my emotions is screaming - make contact; In my head I'm screaming back NOOOOOO.

It's like breathe in, NOOOOOO, breathe out, NOOOOOO.....

Somebody please tell me, I've got the strength to get through this.

I'm off to make a curry for tea - if anyone's out there I need your strength.

IWTH xxx
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Old 09-08-2009, 10:29 AM
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One day at a time, IWTH, one day at a time. You DO have the strength to get through this, I promise.

When your emotions scream "Make contact" and you feel yourself caving, tell the emotions, "Okay, I will...but not today." Or tell them, "Okay, I will...but let me think about it and decide just what I need to say. I don't want to say something that will screw it up."

Pacify your emotions in any way you need. Just to get through that one day, one hour or one minute.

You can do it...I know you can. Don't give up. Only do things on your terms. Your recent posts have inspired me so much.
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Old 09-08-2009, 11:20 AM
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Thank you LeeLee for your strength, it means a lot. Haven't given in yet.

Feeling much calmer now - nothing like seeing to the family at teatime to get things in perspective.

I knew it would be tough but today has just been hellish. I think I need to start this toolbox that everyone is talking about.

I'm off to my first Al-Anon meeting in 20 mins, not sure what to expect, will report back later.
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Old 09-08-2009, 03:38 PM
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Old 09-10-2009, 05:33 AM
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ahhh you poor thing, you forgot how to love yourself

If you do not love yourself, you have nothing left to give.
You feel empty inside, and do things to fill that void.
Stop, right now, and just give yourself a hug.
Start to remember things you liked to do, hobbies, walking in the park,
playing cards, taking a bath, flying a kite lol
You are always looking to others to love you, and send out signals,
that says here I am needing love, and I dont love myself enough, can you.
And you need to stop. You need to get the relationship with yourself back.
You need to spend time with yourself, take yourself out on a date, at home, what would you like to do? Just you, no one else? You dont feel comfortable in your own shoes, and so when something happens you take it so hard, and you cant keep doing that to yourself, baby? Go to a library, peruse things, maybe something will jump at you, go to a swim class down at the YMCA, or do not volunteer, just learn how to "be". What is your favorite thing to do? When is the last time, you tried something new, Have you written down your goals, dreams, or thought maybe I have something more but havent found it, because, i do not know me. To thine ownself be true. Simple things, start with simple things, learn out to pamper yourself? Have you ever tried, If you learn how to pamper yourself, others just might follow suit, barbie with her pink corvette had ken, butshe knew how to drive, took the pink to a new level. Real men are drawn to women who love themselves. So do not be afraid of you you are ? Become a Butterfly and learn to spread your wings
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Old 09-18-2009, 10:05 PM
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Originally Posted by Iwanttoheal View Post
Somebody please tell me, I've got the strength to get through this.
Tell yourself.

Write it down on a little slip of paper and tape it up somewhere in your line of sight around your home.

Say it to yourself in your head, and then say it out loud when it feels safe to do so.

Tell yourself until you believe it. And say it again if you start to question your belief.

Advice given lovingly,
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