daffy

As some of you know, my stepbrother got in trouble recently and is currently in prison. I really had a hard time dealing with this, to the extent that my husband and I were not getting along, my job was in a state of dissarray and I ended up going to the doctor because I had been getting 2 hours of sleep a night for about a month. She gave me a scrip for something to help me sleep and wrote me a release from work because she thought it was a disability. Well, I had the week off and did some major venting on this forum and many of you helped me to get through it. Since then, I have finally heard from my stepbrother and we're in constant contact now, my husband and I are getting along better. When I went back to work, it wasn't until half the day was over before my boss let me know that he was transferring me to another department, one that was alot less stressful. It's my first week in that dept. and I have to say because of all of this, I feel that about 10 pounds have been lifted off my shoulders. I like my new position and I'm starting to read alot of material about ACOA, so I'm sure that I will have alot of questions as I try to deal with all the "stuff" that I've been carting around since time began. It's good to know that you are all here to get feedback from. Hope to hear from some of you soon. stompmom

JT

Good! I am glad you are here. My son is in prison right now...felony DUI...and I am having a tougher time with it then I expected.

Keep sharing!
Hugs,
JT

daffy

Dear Just Tired, I am truly sorry about your son. I can't believe how something like this just took me over. Isn't it the most debilitating thing (or one of them anyway) that you've ever had happen to you? And it's not like it's the easiest topic to bring up ya know? Thank God for this forum because for awhile there I really thought I was going to lose it. I'll say a prayer for your son and for you. Stay strong. stompmom

JT

The tough thing for me was him actually going. I saw it coming and I believe he is where he needs to be. I WILL NOT help him drive again.

But the reality set in after he went. I hope he stays safe, and I hope this changes his life for the better.

Hugs,
JT

daffy

The more contact that I have with my brother(he calls me on weekends) the less numb I feel I'm becoming. I try to write him at least 2 letters a week. His wife has left him, the state put his mother in a home. We have the same father, but different mothers. So. he has nobody else. He does have one friend who also told him she would stick by him through all of this. Do you know if they do any kind of ACOA counseling in the prison systems? I feel that something like that would benefit him greatly. Have you had contact with your son since he went? I hope that everything turns out well for the two of you. It sure isn't easy for anybody. I'll keep you both in my thoughts and prayers. Stay strong. stompmom

JT

My son left county about 2 weeks ago and I have not had any contact yet. I looked him up on the web so I have an address but he said he would call and he hasn't yet.

My son is an alcoholic and his DUI offences have caught up with him. I will not be doing anything for him while he is there. I plan to look for half way houses when his parole date gets closer and that is only because he is asking me to do it. In the past he didn't think he needed a sober living arrangement.

As far as program's in prison...I am not sure about ACOA, but certainly there is AA and education (GED etc) and life skills training before discharge. That much I have learned...again on the web and from my dealings with county.

Hugs,
JT

daffy

My brother is under the impression that because he doesn't drink, alcohol has nothing to do with where he's at now. He's still in denial. My father left my mother when I was only 5 or 6 and I still remember him living with us and that every memory I have of him in the house was a violent one. My brother lived in a small 3 room apartment with my father drinking on a daily basis until they moved to a bigger place when he was 7 years old and still had to deal with it everyday. How could he not be affected? I have always known that I was different. I know nothing about people or living skills. I'm just now working on issues that before finding this forum, didn't know other people had. Ironically, knowing that others had the same thing going on was a wake up call for me to get to know others in the same boat and that maybe I could get some real work done here. I was always trying to fill a hole with things. And I didn't even give myself a chance to enjoy my new thing before I started looking for the next new thing. I'm glad your son has reached a point that he has asked you for help and figuring out that he needs a sober environment. I can only hope that at some point in time my brother will see that he has been "under the influence" even when he hasn't had the bottle to his lips. I hope you hear from your son soon. Hugs stompmom