It all started here I'm pretty sure.
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Oregon
Posts: 54
It all started here I'm pretty sure.
My dad was an alcoholic and sure enough I followed in his footsteps. I have been in recovery for just over a year now and it was not until soon after my sobriety started that I realized that the anxiety and depression from growing up in my dysfunctional family was probably the root of most if not all of my problems with alcohol.
Once my sobriety began I started to deal with my dysfunctional past and I have grown so much over the past 10-months. I read the book Been There, Done That? DO This! by Sam Obitz on overcoming a dysfunctional family and started doing the thought countering TEA form exercise and I have been able to put my past in perspective and begun to live day by day without all the fear and dread my past weaned me on. You really can change the way you process your thoughts to make them less anxiety causing. I know I still have a lot of growth I need to make in front of me but I am more hopeful and patient with myself now and have found this works way better than trying to bury or deny my past. Thanks for listening
Once my sobriety began I started to deal with my dysfunctional past and I have grown so much over the past 10-months. I read the book Been There, Done That? DO This! by Sam Obitz on overcoming a dysfunctional family and started doing the thought countering TEA form exercise and I have been able to put my past in perspective and begun to live day by day without all the fear and dread my past weaned me on. You really can change the way you process your thoughts to make them less anxiety causing. I know I still have a lot of growth I need to make in front of me but I am more hopeful and patient with myself now and have found this works way better than trying to bury or deny my past. Thanks for listening
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Anywhere but the mainstream.
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Hey jbr, welcome! Nothing changes if nothing changes, right? 
I hear what you're saying about learning to be patient with yourself. ACoAs are really their own worst critics.
Once I learned to be patient with myself, by association I also learned to let the people close to me to also be patient with me. Only a few years ago I would have never imagined telling people, "can you please cut me a little slack?" I think we become so good at hiding our true feelings that we don't realize how much we hide them from those we love as adults.
btw, what does TEA stand for?
I hear what you're saying about learning to be patient with yourself. ACoAs are really their own worst critics.
Once I learned to be patient with myself, by association I also learned to let the people close to me to also be patient with me. Only a few years ago I would have never imagined telling people, "can you please cut me a little slack?" I think we become so good at hiding our true feelings that we don't realize how much we hide them from those we love as adults.
btw, what does TEA stand for?
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 47
Thx for sharing your story. I am not a recovering alcoholic like you, but I am an recovering acoa and but for the grace of God could easily be in your same shoes. I was fortunate in that I was able to participate in a cognitive behavioral therapy group in college that helped me a lot. Ironically we started the group by reading the same book you discovered and I still do the TEA form exercise a few minutes a day as part of my daily routine. This helps me manage whatever anxiety comes into my life now. I think you are on the right course and commend you for your year of sobriety!
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Oregon
Posts: 54
Just lost my whole reply to all three of you and now I don't have time to type all of it again.
Thanks Give Love, I'm still growing and appreciate the support.
Dothi,
It took me a long time to realize you have to make changes for things to change. I totally relate to not being able to ask people to give me slack! Kind of like learning to say no. I never realized how easy it was not to have to please everyone all the time and it was so draining!
Dwats,
I'm happy you didn't have to travel the same road I did with alcohol! Also appreciate your props and your sharing that the TEA forms have helped you too. I'm really glad you found a cognitive therapy group in college before you hit the bottle like I used to. Take care and keep up the good work you are doing
Thanks Give Love, I'm still growing and appreciate the support.
Dothi,
It took me a long time to realize you have to make changes for things to change. I totally relate to not being able to ask people to give me slack! Kind of like learning to say no. I never realized how easy it was not to have to please everyone all the time and it was so draining!
Dwats,
I'm happy you didn't have to travel the same road I did with alcohol! Also appreciate your props and your sharing that the TEA forms have helped you too. I'm really glad you found a cognitive therapy group in college before you hit the bottle like I used to. Take care and keep up the good work you are doing
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 47
Thanks jbr. I'm glad too but sorry you had to go through rehab etc.
dothi,
I totally relate to the not being able to ask people to give you slack! Much better at it now. TEA stand for Thought-Error-Analysis. It's a really useful exercise for reducing anxiety and stress.
dothi,
I totally relate to the not being able to ask people to give you slack! Much better at it now. TEA stand for Thought-Error-Analysis. It's a really useful exercise for reducing anxiety and stress.
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Join Date: Feb 2007
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Alcholism is an infectious disease, isn't it? We can catch it from our parents, lol.
I did my fair share of drinking when I was younger to try and drown out the feelings of worthlessness that was drilled into me by my alcoholic mother.
I had anxiety attacks, got to where I wouldn't ride an elevator, a plane, bus or even let someone else drive me anywhere. I became paranoid.
I did work through it all and I can finally say that I am well. I even look back and wish I had alanon back then. Internet was not invented back then.
I can let someone else drive. I can ride a plane.
You get better as you keep busy and practice healthy thinking.
I did my fair share of drinking when I was younger to try and drown out the feelings of worthlessness that was drilled into me by my alcoholic mother.
I had anxiety attacks, got to where I wouldn't ride an elevator, a plane, bus or even let someone else drive me anywhere. I became paranoid.
I did work through it all and I can finally say that I am well. I even look back and wish I had alanon back then. Internet was not invented back then.
I can let someone else drive. I can ride a plane.
You get better as you keep busy and practice healthy thinking.
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 47
Originally Posted by Wascally Wabbit 
Alcholism is an infectious disease, isn't it? We can catch it from our parents, lol.
I did my fair share of drinking when I was younger to try and drown out the feelings of worthlessness that was drilled into me by my alcoholic mother.
I had anxiety attacks, got to where I wouldn't ride an elevator, a plane, bus or even let someone else drive me anywhere. I became paranoid.
I did work through it all and I can finally say that I am well. I even look back and wish I had alanon back then. Internet was not invented back then.
I can let someone else drive. I can ride a plane.
You get better as you keep busy and practice healthy thinking.
I did my fair share of drinking when I was younger to try and drown out the feelings of worthlessness that was drilled into me by my alcoholic mother.
I had anxiety attacks, got to where I wouldn't ride an elevator, a plane, bus or even let someone else drive me anywhere. I became paranoid.
I did work through it all and I can finally say that I am well. I even look back and wish I had alanon back then. Internet was not invented back then.
I can let someone else drive. I can ride a plane.
You get better as you keep busy and practice healthy thinking.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Oregon
Posts: 54
Originally Posted by dwats
Hey Jbr,
I hope you are doing well and having a good summer. I just wanted to say hi and see hjow things are going for you. I do appreciate all your encouragement.
I hope you are doing well and having a good summer. I just wanted to say hi and see hjow things are going for you. I do appreciate all your encouragement.
How's everything with you? Making more progress I hope~
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 47
Hey I'm doing pretty good and taking it day by day but feel like I am making more progress. Thanks for getting back to me and I hope you keep in touch because you have a lot to offer and it is appreciated by many here I am sure.
Peace out for now brotha!
Peace out for now brotha!
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 47
Thx JBR. Please do keep in touch. No questions today but nice to know I can call on you when I do have them
Takencareofme, if you get the book try and start doing the TEA form exercise everyday. It takes some getting used to them, but they work great when you get comfortable with doing them.
Takencareofme, if you get the book try and start doing the TEA form exercise everyday. It takes some getting used to them, but they work great when you get comfortable with doing them.
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Oregon
Posts: 54
Originally Posted by takincareome
I think I might check out the book too. Thanks!
It's a good and short and simple book. I hope you tried it and it helped you feel better too
Love yoyur handle
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Oregon
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Originally Posted by dwats
JBR,
I do have a question for you now so I hope you see this. Are you still doing the TEA forms and if so how often do you do them? Thanks.
I do have a question for you now so I hope you see this. Are you still doing the TEA forms and if so how often do you do them? Thanks.
Happy Holidays to everyone
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