Update on "Dire Situation"

Old 03-15-2009, 06:51 PM
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Update on "Dire Situation"

Please reference my past post; "Dire Situation - Seeking Guidance" if anyone is looking for background on the circumstances that have led up to the present situation.



My mother was admitted to the hospital on 03/03/09; she was vomitting blood and her stomach was distended. After several days of tests, three blood infusions, and a trip to the ICU when her blood pressure dropped dangerously low, finally she seemed to be "out of the woods".

Test results became available a few days ago and the news was bad (cirrhosis of the liver), but there was hope that it had not progressed enough that it was the entire liver. The doctor spoke to her about seeking treatment to stay sober so her liver could "rest" and maybe there was a small chance she could have a few years. So from there my family was looking forward to her discharge from the hospital and optimistic about her treatment. It looked like a second chance.

Yesterday I recieved the worst news possible and I have been inconsolable. My mother's liver is in end stage liver failure. Right now the doctor is trying to prevent her from lapsing into a coma; I have been informed that there is no coming back once she has reached that point. I don't know the certainty of her lapsing into a coma, but all our family and my mother's friends have been asked to call her or visit the hospital to say "Goodbye". I don't know how long she has or if a miracle is even possible that she could turn around at this stage. I was under the impression that end stage liver failure is a death sentence without a transplant, that it's just a matter of time

So I guess I'm looking for resources on end stage liver failure. I want to understand how it works, if there is still hope. I need to know excatly what to expect because I feel like it is the only way I can cope. I want to be prepared for the worst.

Any person with information to offer, I would be grateful.
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Old 03-15-2009, 07:22 PM
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I am so sorry you are going through this NOLAGirl. Unfortunately, I went through the exact same thing with my father about 30 years ago. He was completely bloated and his skin was yellow. He had end-stage liver disease and he did go into that coma and never came out of it. I pray that your mother has more time, and I guess anything is possible. I'll be praying for you and your family.
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Old 03-15-2009, 08:49 PM
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Thank you.

I guess today she was having a good day; moving about a little, having less problems speaking and comprehending. But when I called around 6pm she was fading in and out, her speech slurred. It's so hard to take what should have been a small bit of good news when it doesn't last.
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Old 03-15-2009, 09:00 PM
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Yes, we thought my father was doing better, too. He would talk to us for a while, and then he'd just fall asleep. He'd go in and out several times a day. One day he just never came back and they said he was in coma. He died later that day.
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Old 03-15-2009, 10:10 PM
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I'm so sorry for your loss; it must have been one of the most difficult situations you have ever faced and I appreciate you sharing this with me. I want to understand the reality of the situation even if it hurts. Not knowing is unbearable.
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Old 03-16-2009, 11:56 AM
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NOLAgirl,
My prayers go to you and your mom. Keep hoping and talk to your mom when you can but you also have to be clear-headed about her chances. If recovery is a 1 in 100 possibility (just guessing), then hope and pray hard for that "1", but be aware of the other '99'.
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Old 03-16-2009, 12:08 PM
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I'm sorry. This must be extremely difficult.

I've had one alcoholic in my family who has lived for several years with end-stage liver disease from cirrhosis. He has not received a liver transplant and he is not eligible for one. He quit drinking and switched over to taking valium, oxycontin, and heroin as his drugs of choice.

He was not as far along as your mother sounds, though. They score this disease, and I doubt that his score was as high as your mother's. The higher the score, the higher the mortality rate.
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Old 03-16-2009, 05:24 PM
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Thank you to everyone for your kind words. Having a place where I can talk about the situation has allowed me to remain grounded.

I spoke directly with her doctor today and he explained there is no way to survive this stage without a transplant. My mother is also not eligible for a transplant because of her alcoholism.

Her doctor could not give me an exact life expectancy, but he did estimate that it would be a matter of days or weeks. I know people have survived longer as represented by your family member, Kallista - And I hope I have that kind of time. But because my mother is already showing signs of brain damage due to the build up of ammonia, it shouldn't be long.

I'm really scared and not sure how to handle the situation. I'm trying to take each day at a time and focus on remaining calm...But it's so hard because I'm losing one of the most important people in my life. I know that it hurts at any age to lose a loved one to alcoholism, but I just turned 25 and my younger sister is 21; we're not ready to not have a mother. We had a lot of plans, for her to see me get married soon. For her to meet my first born child. To visit me in New Orleans for the first time. And suddenly not any of it is possible. I feel defeated and heart-broken. I fear that I will never be the same after her death.
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Old 03-17-2009, 06:15 AM
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[[[******<<<NOLAgirl>>>}}}]]]

This is a hard time and I pray and hope for you and your sister. Use the time you have with your mom as best you can.

I lost my parents at your age. Both were A's but I miss both still, 20 years later. You will make it through this, and you are stronger than you know.
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Old 03-17-2009, 09:39 AM
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((( NOLA girl )))


All you can do at this stage is love her all you can.

Don't awfulize about the future if you can avoid it. Deal with all of that when it comes.

Sending you love and strength
gl
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