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New and frustrated

Old 07-30-2003, 01:52 AM
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New and frustrated

Hello everyone, I stumbled on this site and have been reading for a couple of weeks now and it has been helpful. My father has been drinking for as long as I can remember. Since I always thought he was the greatest it never seemed like a problem to me until a couple of years ago. He had a successful business and an extravagant lifestyle and from his drinking he lost his business, two wives, his house and is broke. Several months ago he was in the hospital on his deathbed but through a miracle he walked out of the hospital a month later. We all foolishly thought that would end his drinking problem. We all denied the nurses' warnings that he will drink again if he doesn't get help-we thought "oh no, not dad, he can do it". Well we were wrong. His doctor told him one more drink will kill him and he knows it but he continues to sneak drinks. It kills me to see him do this to himself. I have been married for 7 years and my husband drinks too. He sees he road my father is on an continues to drink and doesn't feel he has a problem. He just drinks alone to "have fun" and "relax". I have been to 1 Alanon meeting and have a hundred excuses that I cannot go, my kids-no sitter, who's going to make dinner, it's too late, too far, etc, etc. My point is that I am frustrated and tired of being a mother to my father and my husband. I hate that sick feeling in my gut everytime I smell liquor on them. I hate being angry and the wondering feeling if I will have a sober dad or husband on the weekend. Thanks for listening.....
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Old 07-30-2003, 07:26 AM
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Hi Jamsmom and welcome!

Feel free to come here and vent at any time! I'm sure you know by now there's nothing you can do for them if they're not ready to stop drinking. However, you can get support for yourself. Stop coming up with excuses for not going to those Al-anon meetings! It really does help to be around others who know what you're going through. Also, focusing on ourselves keeps us from worrying so much about our A's.

Take care and keep coming back.

Hugs,
JG
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Old 07-31-2003, 04:49 AM
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jamsmom,

Welcome! Have you ever read any of Melody Beatties books? "Codependent No More" is a great book...I swear she was looking in my windows...she nails it.

You really should try to get to Alanon...and make yourself at home here.

We have been where you are.
JT
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Old 07-31-2003, 07:17 AM
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Hey J-mom--

Welcome, you have arrived at a place where you can find love, support, prayers, and people who will listen. Be willing to share, we are here for you.

My dad has recently begun drinking again. He didn't go through a program, he thought that he could do it himself. Now he has once again become King Jerk.

Love you bunches, and I'm glad you are here!

--Ă…ngel
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Old 08-04-2003, 01:22 AM
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Thanks you guys! My mom gave me an Alanon book with daily passages. I picked it up tonight and realized the bookmark was on June 2. No wonder I'm freaking out!!! I will check out Melody Beatties book, it seems to be popular on this site...must be a good one. Thanks Again and you all have a Happy Monday.
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Old 08-04-2003, 05:29 AM
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You have a happy Monday too! Don't be a stanger. Oh by the way...if you go to a meeting HE can make dinner and babysit! You deserve a couple of hours away from the house to recharge your batteries!!

Hugs,
JT
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