It's almost all over...
 

J.T. and everyone!!

Hello! How is everyone? I have to tell you guys, i've been reading the "perfect daughters" book and I am so glad i bought it. It has just opened my eyes up to the source of alot of my emotional and mental issues. The emotional hunger. The fact i have actually made up the "father" i wanted. hehehe... its ok, I'm half way through the book. I dont actually force myself to read it, sometimes i cant put it down, other times i dont pick it up for a couple days. either way, it sits right on my night stand, in case i need to read it.

Tonight i am going w/my b.f. and completeing the Last project on my parents home. Next week is the closing. I'll be much more stress free, and hopefully able to relax. For some reason, i've kinda put off this last project, (just replacing a screen door) I dont really even want to go back there, or do it. But i know i have to. I think i'm so emotionally tied to that place, and now its going to really be time to say goodbye!

I've taking the day of closing off, and my mother has actually taken that day off and the rest of the week. Good for her!! She needs to relax. I know it will be hard for her that day. But it seems like this is all so hard for me too. I've made a note to pick up thank you cards and get them to those 2 people that have really been dedicated and supportive in closing this deal.

I am going to say goodbye to a place full of childhood memories, 85% bad ones, the rest were good. I dont know why it seems to make me so sad, or why i'm scared of tonight. I also dont want to upset my b.f. if i do tear up tonight. He has it in his head, then this will all be done, and over. We can live our lives. Which is true. After all this work, and time i've put into this, you'd think i'd be happy, to say "Hasta La Vista" but i'm actually quite sad. Today i'll go back there for the last time. I've tried to think of something to put there or.. i dont know... i might not be making sense. sorry

Hi Angel,

I know exactly what you're going through. My parents sold my childhood home 5 years ago and it was pretty traumatic for me, even though I hadn't lived there for years. Like you, most of my memories were bad ones, but still, it was the house I grew up in, for better or for worse, and it was hard to see it go.

My mom actually understood how I felt, even though she's not normally the emotional type. Shortly before the closing she took me to the house for the last time. The previous owner had signed their name in the garage and included the dates they lived there. So my mom found me a pen and I did the same thing, right under the first owner's signature. I walked through the house and I was able to say goodbye. I know it probably sounds weird, but I felt so much better afterward.

I hope you get a chance to say goodbye as well.

Take care and hugs,
JG

Angel,

My great grandfather bought the house, orginally, that my mother lives in now and when my Mom goes I think it will be the end of all that. I can understand what you are feeling.

Good luck,
JT