browneyedamy

Hello,

I am new here. My mother is addicted to OTC and possible prescription meds. My sister caught her buying 8 packs of dramamine/Gravol and hiding them in her purse. I am thinking this is a good time to give her an intervention-type letter, except for the fact tomorrow is Mother's Day. We're all meeting for dinner tonight... I was thinking about handing her an envelope as we left for her to read at home.

Any thoughts?

Freedom1990

I take it your dinner tonight is an early Mother's Day gathering?

Personally, I would not do it a day before Mother's Day.

To me, that would be like tucking an intervention-type letter into my oldest AD's birthday card. There's a place and a time for that sort of thing.

Mother's Day is special, even if she's abusing OTC meds.

When all else fails, I ask myself how would I feel if I switched places with the other person?

suki44883

I agree with Freedom. This doesn't seem to be the time.

SailorKaren

We were cautioned in our abuse recovery therapy groups to be careful and deliberate in considering a confrontation or intervention. It is important for us to get very honest with ourselves about what we are wanting and needing, and to be very realistic about how an abuser is likely to respond. For example, if you find you are honestly wanting her to hear your concern and respond in a supportive way, ask yourself if she really has it in her to give that to you at this time. If not, you can still get your needs met by posting here and being heard and supported. If you are honestly wanting her to stop, and your intention is to talk her into it, or change her behavior in some way, ask yourself if it is really appropriate for you to try and control her actions. She is an adult, and is entitled to act in a way that may ultimately be self destructive. If you are just wanting to give her feedback on how her actions are affecting your emotions and your relationship with her, that may be entirely appropriate, provided you accept whatever reaction she may have to your information. Think about the range of her possible responses, and do some planning for yourself on how you will stay safe and get your needs met in each scenario. You might consider sharing some of those plans here ahead of time, and letting us provide some feedback and ideas before you have your meeting or intervention.

The idea here is that we take care not to perpetuate an abusive situation by bringing additional abuse onto ourselves through our own actions. Abusers are hurting inside, and can be unpredictable. Those of us who have been hurt by an abuser, are especially vulnerable to being hurt again, and we owe it to ourselves to take extra care of ourselves in these difficult situations.

GingerM

Welcome to the board Browneye.

I was wondering how Mother's Day went for you?