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Anxious about visiting dad at Betty Ford

Old 06-26-2003, 03:28 PM
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Anxious about visiting dad at Betty Ford

My dad checked himself into Betty Ford 3 weeks ago and I am going to visit him with my brother this weekend. I am so nervous.

If my dad is really going to go through the 12 steps, then I am so happy. But I am very anxious at the thought of talking to him about emotional issues and how his drinking has affected things over the years.

Any suggestions on how to handle this? I want to be supportive and enabling of his recovery, but if he wants to REALLY talk about things I think I may have to run out of the room. I'm just not ready, and don't know if I ever will be...
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Old 06-27-2003, 04:18 AM
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(((((((Elizabeth)))))))

I think that after 3 weeks of treatment, your father won't be ready to talk about any issues. Right now, his main focus is on staying sober. He's very early in recovery and it will be a while before he's ready to start dealing with the reality of what his drinking has resulted in over the years. In fact, he may never be ready to talk about it. My dad has been sober for 12 years, and not once have we had any kind of meaningful conversation about how his drinking affected any of us.

I think just being there and being supportive will be all that's required. And even if he does try to start making amends, you can politely tell him that you're not ready to talk about it yet.

I hope you have a nice visit.

Hugs,
JG
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Old 06-27-2003, 05:12 AM
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Good Morning,

I would follow his lead and be supportive. I don't think I would say anything to soften what he says. Like "Oh that's ok" because maybe it isn't.

When my son talks I pretty much just listen because I often strongly disagree with what he is saying. I have stopped defending myself and I don't blame him. If I find things that are hurtful or offensive to me I can always try to change the subject or end the conversation. I am not a a captive.

Hugs,
JT
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