noles

I've posted on here once or twice but more than that I just read everyone's posts... My story is that I am 24 years old... My mom died this past October from liver failure, she was only 50 yrs old. She was an alcoholic (never to admit, or if she did, she'd deny it the next day). We were still really close though and this whole thing has been really hard.. I'm dealing with her death day by day and I'm working through my anger, guilt, etc....

but there's been a question I've had about myself and just want to know if anyone else has been in the same position or to get other's opinions...

I went to a big party school in college and def have done my fair share of partying. I still now, play the "normal" role of a 24 year old ... I go to happy hours, go out dancing with my friends, etc. I do drink at least a 1-3 nights a week socially. I make a point NEVER to drink by myself and even if I'm having a glass of wine after work with my roommate, I'll only have one. I do enjoy going out and drinking socially though.

I def have my life together (especially with everything I've dealt with) I just finished my masters degree in Dec, I moved to a new city and I'm working at a job I enjoy. I am very aware that my mom was an alcoholic and I'm aware that it can be genetic. I guess my question is should I be afraid that my "social drinking" could turn into alcoholism? I don't need to drink... but I guess at my age right now, that's my social circle and I don't know if I can give that up... Dealing with my mom's death, I HAVE to stay busy and around other people 24/7 or I get really upset.

Any opinions or other's experiences would be greatly appriciated... it's something that's always in the back of my mind but I feel awkward talking about it to my friends or family bc they'd all just tell me I'm being paranoid...

LucyA

Sorry for the loss of your mum.
I went through a similar thought process when it all came to light about my brother being alcoholic. I like to drink, not regularly and never to excess, I drink with a meal or just socially. But realising my the extent of my brothers addiction and the damage he's done to himself frightened me so bad I started to avoid alcohol like it was me who had the problem. At your age I did my fair share of partying too, but so did my brother, he's alcoholic and I'm not.
I suppose if you think you have a drink problem it's time to check it. Doesn't really give you any answers, sorry.

NOMOMERLOTMAMMA

Hi,

My Mom died of liver failure due to alcoholism as well.

What I can say to you from my experience is this: My parents had two daughters. My sister can have a drink here n there, always has been able too, not a problem in any way, shape , or form. She partied in college, goes out with friends for dinner and has wine, etc.

I am an alcoholic.

You see the odds.

It seems that you are rightfully looking at your experience with alcohol. I think that this is normal because of how you lost your Mom. I would suggest to you that you lay off the alcohol for 30 days or so, and see if that's a goal that you are able to reach without any trouble. If that's the case, there isn't IMO a problem for you..but best to always keep an eye on it in the future.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

GiveLove

I am a social drinker as well, but because I come from alcoholic parents, I am always watchful of my drinking, making sure I know who is driving the bus.

If I can't just have one drink and then easily switch to something non-alcoholic without feeling funny about it, that's a red flag to me.

If I can't take 30 days and go non-alcoholic without feeling edgy, angry, resentful, etc., that's a flag too.

If I can't have fun with my friends without drinking, that's another. Sometimes I'll just prove it to myself by drinking virgin marys or na sunrises or such all night, and see how it feels. I did that over the past weekend and gave myself an "A" for Not Needing Alcohol To Support My Friendships.

These things are all personal -- you may have your own tests to make sure you're not edging your toe down the same road as your mom. Make sure you are in control, not the alcohol, and read up on what a safe amount to consume in a week might be, if you want to avoid health problems down the line, reduce your risk of cancer, etc.

I stopped using the term "partying" a long time ago when I realized that it's just shorthand for people getting together and getting drunk and stoned. It actually makes me a little queasy to hear it nowadays....having been around drunks all my life. I've got bigger interests these days, things I wanna do and be, so that helps with keeping liquor's role in my life in perspective too.

Take good care of yourself. Make sure you're the boss

PaxAeterna

I've been very cautious with this issue myself. Lots of alcoholics on both sides of my family tree, and I know I can have an addictive personality in relation to food and caffeine. I have never touched alcohol save for a few glasses of wine. Love O'Douls though.

Cyathea

I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your Mum.

I am very aware of my drinking as an acoa, (I don't drink) and I think you are really smart to be aware of the possibility of alcohol becoming a problem.

I guess the more you know about addiciton in general, the more you can see any warning signs, and recognize them for what they are.

I wish you all the very best.

Growing

I am sad to hear you lost your mom...I lost my Dad...he died never seeing another sober day since he began drinking.

Its natural that you would worry about becoming an alcoholic...for me...I worry because I am desensitized to the "drinking" environment because both of my parents were alcoholics. Escaping through alcohol was the norm at my house.

You are here posting and asking about it...so I agree with the others....thats something to think about.

Just my humble opinion: I also equate "partying" as code for drunkeness and drunkeness is no longer a part of my life because it is counter to the work I have to do to meet my current goals. Being hung over or preoccupied with alcohol or the next party, or relationships with people who are drunk/hung over doesn't help me in an active lifestyle; hanging out at the library, researching, hiking, going to museums and focusing on my studies, hanging out with creative/active people, studying my mentors and "copying" them.

Growing

I agree 100%.

katie44

I'm sorry about your mother. How painful. I lost my mother due to liver failure 12 months ago age 64. I have always been very careful regarding drinking. My mothers father passed away when she was 9 years old due to liver failure. We have a long list of alcoholics in our family. Good for you recognizing that there could be danger in the future with your drinking. My daughter is 24, university student. First two years of school was party time. The last two years after much reading re: alcoholism she may have a drink or two when her and her friends go out. Take good care of yourself and know that your mother is at peace (((( hugs))))

Hazel83

So sorry about your mom.I'm also 24, and have a mother that has been an alcoholic for about 9 years, and I'm very worried about her meeting this fate.
I would definitely try to limit your drinking.I used to be a light drinker,only having a drink a few times a month and about 7 months ago almost overnight I became an instant binge drinker,and now drink heavily almost every night.I'm not saying don't drink,just make sure you're doing it for the right reasons,and not using it as an escape route from life.