dates
 

though i am not looking to date now. i need to work on breaking a pattern within myself, though i always had such a hard time dating, because i don't drink. where do you meet people, date... stories...


thank you!

Hey Littlebird,

I don't go to bars and don't drink (much) either, so I had the same dilemma.

I had the same patterns. My counselor had me think about what I was looking for in a partner - not just what he was like, but what kinds of things he liked, common interests with me, whether he was smart or bookish or loved animals or liked to exercise or was a really good cook or WHATEVER you think would make a fun partner to be with.

And he asked me to think about where such a person might hang out. I took classes at the local cheap community college, got involved in a Meetup group (Meetup: World's largest community of local Meetups, clubs and groups! - Meetup.com) that went hiking together, went to animal events, things like that.........places where that person I might like might hang out. It was a lot of fun, kept me busy, and eventually I met someone when I was ready to date again.

Good luck. You're on the right track!

GL

if you do things you really enjoy, that's you're passionate about and that motivate you, you'll find other fun people for relationship purposes.... good luck :)

I met my husband at a New Year's Party where nearly everyone there was drunk as a skunk. I had gone because I thought it would be depressing to sit at home alone, and I also thought watching a bunch of drunks might be entertaining (it was too!).

The friend was someone I used to work out with 3 times a week. We shared common interests and hung out together.

I never had any luck with the bar scene. In terms of meeting other people, joining clubs can be a good way to hook up with folks who have similar interests, likewise, doing volunteer work is a good way to meet people.

Really, meeting someone to date is a numbers game - the more people you can meet (preferably in a non-addictive situation), the more likely it is that you'll meet someone you have things in common with.

That being said, hooboy, if something happened to my husband, I doubt I would have the intestinal fortitude to re-enter the dating scene. I also know that I would be out doing things with other people though (I think my hermit days are behind me now), so it's still quite possible that I would meet interesting people and keep my interpersonal skills in good shape.