MLH2282

This is my first post. My father is an alcoholic and has been for the majority of my life. I only recently fully realized the extent of his addiction. I had a turbulent childhood, suffering from depression and other issues. I never really had a good relationship with my father, but over the last couple of years, I thought we were establishing the foundation of a solid father daughter relationship. The discovery of his alcoholism was just the tip of the iceberg. Apparently, my father has been living a double life for the past 8 years. He connected with an old girlfriend, and has carried on an affair. Everything has hit like a ton of bricks. Ironically, these recent revelations have brought my mother and me closer together. I have always been close to my mother, and I understand why she shielded me from his issues for so long.

I think I know most everything about my father, but I wouldn't be surprised if there were more. Each member of my family has attempted to confront my father about his drinking, but he lives in a perpetual state of denial. He is part owner in a family business, and doesn’t have to work. This leaves ample time for him to sit in his room drinking. It is so sad to see him killing himself. He is either drunk, hungover, or sleeping. Our relationship has basically disintegrated. I still love him, and I have forgiven him, but it still hurts. I know he can’t get help unless he wants to, but I realize that I can’t keep hoping that he will ask for help.

GingerM

Wishing things were different (or hoping, with the knowledge that that hope is likely to ever come to fruition) is completely healthy. I, too, wish things were different. I also wish I had a pony (seriously). I know that the pony is more likely to happen.

It sounds like your mom is willing to talk to you about things, and that will be of great help to you as you begin to wade through the morass of emotional baggage.

Have you read the stickies at the top of this forum? You may find them quite helpful.

Welcome to the board.

Growing

Wanted to add my Welcome!

Glad you found us and glad you are reaching out and posting.

Alcoholics sure create alot of chaos...and if the family members are close enough to the tornado...we get sucked in as well.

Keep coming back...this could be the beginning of a new chapter in your life.

MLH2282

Thank you so much for your thoughtful comments!

Growing

"It is so sad to see him killing himself. He is either drunk, hungover, or sleeping. Our relationship has basically disintegrated. I still love him, and I have forgiven him, but it still hurts. I know he can’t get help unless he wants to, but I realize that I can’t keep hoping that he will ask for help."

This was me exactly the last few years of my fathers life. Especially the part where I only saw him drunk, hungover or sleeping. I relate to this. I am so sorry you are going through this. Keep coming back...glad to see you reaching out to a recovery community. We help eachother.

Big hugs!!!!!