Trying.

Why ohhhhhhh why can't I just walk away from a place that I really do not want to even be part off??? I'm angry because it feels as if I can't manage without them, but I know I can. Its like there's a spell over me and I can't wake up out of it. I dont want to be in that place I want to walk away. Whats the magic words? what do I need to be telling myself?

GiveLove

Break the habit.

It's an ingrained, hard-wired, mental, physical habit that needs a major effort to break. No different from a drug. It will take work but you can do it.

Luck
GL

Midnightfrost

I know the first big step for me was starting with little no's and realizing my life didn't stop because I said No to little stuff. Then I moved on to bigger and better decisions. For me it seemed like my world was going to end if I stood up for me. But it was a world that was all built around my families dysfunction and addiction. It needed to end so I could move on. The first few no's were hard but the realization that life went on and seemed a whole lot more bearable and even desirable was awesome! You can do a little at a time. Hmm . . . poke around for suggested readings. . . there are lots of great threads and stickys. I know a big one for me was Dr. Phil's Self Matters. I don't even like his show but this book really helped me out. ((Trying)) You can do it!

mushroom

There is a spell over you - it's called Codependence.

You can break it! you just have to want to badly enough to take a leap of faith - faith in yourself.

What's the worst that can happen?? Make a list. Then look it over. They won't all happen at once, so figure out how you'll handle each one by itself. For instance - the worst that can happen to me right now in my situation, is that I become homeless and live out of my car. Well - I do have a car, and it's all paid for, and pretty reliable! so that's ok. I have slept in it before. I have camping gear. I can head south where it's warmer and stay with friends. I'll get unemployment insurance for a little while so I'll have something. My dogs will LOVE living on the road! When I look at it that way it's not scary at all. Then I realize how unlikely it is that it'll happen that way - I won't be homeless. I don't fear it anymore.

We are spirit, eternal and indestructible, and have nothing to fear. Life is to be experienced, bad parts and all. Nothing lasts, not even the bad stuff.

That's how I break the spell.

And read your own signature! One step. All you need is to take one little baby step. Then one more. Repeat.

Wascally Wabbit

ditto on all the above. It's hard to break the habit. It's hard to say NO, and to finally take the step to improve your life. You know the old saying,
When you keep doing the same things over and over and over, only to get the same results each time, then it's time to do something different.
You CAN do this! You're stronger than you think.

Trying.

Thanks for the replys. You know when I ask myself or attempt to ask myself what is it I fear by leaving this group, I just can't look at the answer. Its like it will be so akin to death that I cannot go there. Maybe this is the first step in even contemplating asking myself the question by posting here about the situation....

If I leave this group I will.................................dam I cant get it! I just go into mental close down!