Ahimsa

Hi all I am sure this is one of many Holiday stories to come...

I am visiting the parents for Thanksgiving and just walked into my mom sneaking wine from some hidden place in a bottom cabinet. (last time I was here, I caught her drinking out of a vodka bottle underneath the kitchen sink.......with the cleaning supplies. I see an accident waiting to happen in that scenario) Anyway, I am fuming and just need to vent about it. I can't confront her, it will just turn into a long drawn out screaming match between Me, Her, and my Dad. But I feel like letting it go is somehow giving her permission to think she is sneaking around. I want her to know she was caught. I made the decision to cut off communication after this Thanksgiving get-together, and this is only solidifying it 10x more. It's to the point where I can't even interact with her on a normal level, she is always either drunk or hungover, or just acting fake and phony. 3 more days...and I am going to *let go*......

Wascally Wabbit

Wow, the fake and phoney sure rings a bell with me. My mom was like that. When she wasn't actually drunk off her butt, she was the most phoney person you could know. She still is to a big degree.
I just ignore it any more.

Even if you confronted her, and made her see she'd been "caught", it wouldn't make one single bit of difference. Save yourself the stress. Sometimes cutting off communication is the only way we ourselves can have peace.

SaTiT

Hang in there.
I think I'm feeling a little bit of the holidays funk.

There's been a lot of family gathering lately becuase of my grand mother's
passing. Not everybody in our family are drinkers.

I havn't had a regular holiday in a while. Spent a lof of my time alone
becuase of the realtionship with my gf for the past 5 years.
addiction can careless what time of the year it is.
So I'm not getting a major triggers. I think there
a body clock thing going on with me. There's a funk i'm feeling.
probably a combination of cloudy days for the past couple of days.
I feel a little bit on the blues side on cloudy days anythime of the years.

Just trying not to expect too much out of anyone or anybody.
I'm going to be spending it alone anyways..

my dad been drinking like a fish anyways...so it dosn't matter one way or the other.

Wascally Wabbit

Well folks, I am officially all by myself for Thanksgiving! And, I LOVE IT!! I guess I am just plain old tired and will appreciate the peace and quiet. A couple years ago, I would have gone stark raving insane if I thought I was going to be alone. I have learned to really appreciate the peace.

Ahimsa

I too have been finding so much peace in just being alone recently. Going on long walks alone, going to my favorite restaurants alone, movies alone - it's wonderful!! Thats what I am thankful for today - the opportunity to just enjoy my own time, and my own thoughts Have a wonderful Thanksgiving everyone

GiveLove

Hey, I am alone too, and am really enjoying it. I'm watching some good films, drinking terrific coffee, taking long, luxurious naps, and reading the books that I never seem to have time to read uninterrupted. I have plans for a vanilla bubble bath later on. If there's time. Gosh, so many things to do...

SO grateful for this place, for you guys, and for being alive.

mushroom

Ahimsa, she will never acknowledge that you caught her in the act, because of course as we all know, she isn't drinking. Save yourself the bother and don't jump into the insanity.

What will change if you tell her you caught her?? She doesn't need your permission to drink. It isn't about you, after all. You are irrelevant when it comes to an alkie and her bottle.

Cut off communication if they make you crazy. It's not so bad and it doesn't make you a horrible person. You can always go back later if you want to. Just don't expect her to ever change.

Me, I spent Thanksgiving alone at home, by choice. It's been, well, decades since I spent a holiday with my family of origin. Since then, it's always been inlaws, or travel, or something like that. Last two years since leaving AH I've had to improvise. This year I turned down 2 invitations to spend the day alone with my dogs and my writing! We took a nice hike on a rare sunny day, and I got some work done, and lots of rest. Nice! unAmerican, but just what I needed this year.

You dont' have to do the same thing every year, and you don't have to spend holidays with family if they drive you crazy. Last year I went to a restaurant with AlAnon friends and that was great too.