Wascally Wabbit

I just fininshed reading a whole lot on the net about this.
I am amazed I hadn't discovered it a long time ago. My am sober 30 years has always been somewhat narcissistic. I invite you to read up on it. It's opened my eyes about why I am never good enough, how she expects way too much of me, and acts like I am an idiot, while she knows everything and is NEVER wrong!
The sad thing is whether they drink or not, this behavior will never change. Unless of course they recognize it and do something about it. But, even that is RARE! They are so caught up in their own wants and needs that everyone else is just a pawn to them.
I'd love feedback.

Wascally Wabbit

Try this article: http://www.halcyon.com/jmashmun/npd/traits.html

DesertEyes

I've heard that narcissists are addicts just like an alcoholic or a druggie. They're addicted to themselves. I've also met people who claim many years of sobriety, but you couldn't tell by the way they act. I've heard that refered to as 1yr of sobriety repeated over and over and over.... Another good line is that it's not the _length_ of sobriety that matters, it's the depth.

My parents never sobered up, so I don't know if there was any other disorder under the boozing. I'm just glad I'm recovering from my past

Mike

SaTiT

It deffernently has an effect that's for sure.
That funkie dark negative vibe that drains the heck out of you.
My defensive meachanism gose up automaticly, but it's couple
with guilt, shame and a lack of self worth.
I can see it clearer in my nephew..i see the tears in his eyes
and his pin up anger. It's a reflection of me. i tried to be there
for him and pass on some of the tools I've learned in recovery.
He can't grasp everything, but just being there and listening to
him. He dosen't feel like he's totally insane or alone.

My parents are not in recovery. One of them is codi, and the other
is drinking heavily.

The closest I can relate is my GF. She's in recovery and trying her
best. But it takes all of her time and energy. yeap something like
1 year of sobereity stage. I'm on the bottom of the food chain
when it comes to that relationship.

i can't say they never changes..becuase i went from one extreem
to the other. From selfish to selfless. For me it's been a bit tricky
or confussing at best. AA dosn't totally work for me. It's not AA,
it's the way I process the message or informations. As in anger
or resentments...or as simple as the statement of completely
abandent yourself.

However..I can't completely just say..I'm acoa/codi and I'm a product
of my enviornment...So if I just change some of my behaviors and
heal a little bit. It's okay for me to go out and drink and use..becuase
I'm not the alki....that type of thinking would kill me too.

It a bit of a balancing act for me.

I came across something call "the wheel of life" about 3 years ago in my
spiritaul journey or life's journey. i don't trip out as hard as i use too
when I'm at the 6 O clock mark. It's the mark of death and rebirth.
I didn't wanna belive it at first but if i look at my life as a whole, i can see
a pattern. it's about spiritaul growth and not so much of what I gain or
lose on the outside.

It's the same principle as " dream giver". After ordinary accomplish his big dream
Oneday the dreamgiver came and told ordinary to step closer. Life gose on or
more dreams to live.
Kind of like the more I know, the less i know.

SaTiT

It deffernently has an effect that's for sure.
That ****ie dark negative vibe that drains the heck out of you.
My defensive meachanism gose up automaticly, but it's couple
with guilt, shame and a lack of self worth.
I can see it clearer in my nephew..i see the tears in his eyes
and his pin up anger. It's a reflection of me. i tried to be there
for him and pass on some of the tools I've learned in recovery.
He can't grasp everything, but just being there and listening to
him. He dosen't feel like he's totally insane or alone.

My parents are not in recovery. One of them is codi, and the other
is drinking heavily.

The closest I can relate is my GF. She's in recovery and trying her
best. But it takes all of her time and energy. yeap something like
1 year of sobereity stage. I'm on the bottom of the food chain
when it comes to that relationship.

i can't say they never changes..becuase i went from one extreem
to the other. From selfish to selfless. For me it's been a bit tricky
or confussing at best. AA dosn't totally work for me. It's not AA,
it's the way I process the message or informations. As in anger
or resentments...or as simple as the statement of completely
abandent yourself.

However..I can't completely just say..I'm acoa/codi and I'm a product
of my enviornment...So if I just change some of my behaviors and
heal a little bit. It's okay for me to go out and drink and use..becuase
I'm not the alki....that type of thinking would kill me too.

It a bit of a balancing act for me.

stilltryingkal

I've been part of an on line support group and found it to be very very helpful.

stilltryingkal

here's the link:

there is an excellent on line support group http://health.groups.*****.com/group...s/messages?o=1

I'm not sure if I posted the address correctly. I've been a member for over a year and it's certainly helped me with dealing with my past since my mother is a textbook case. AdultsRecoveringFrom-NarcissiticParents · Adults Recovering FromNarcissiticParents

utopia

i have been diagnosed with narcissitic personality disorder even if it was years ago now but i see the traits, the wanting to be noticed, the superiority complex, the wanting to be "special", the "its all about me", the common traits of the actor, the class clown, the delusions of grandeur?? i see links to my past to ignored needs, violated rights, disregarded screams and tears, disregard for my physical self and treated as nothing but a possession....i can see my traits have evovled into selfishness, unaware of others, cocooned...survival mode. so i see it as a result of grwoing up in an alcoholic dysfunctional family. i dont have kids....i now see these defects of character as survival traits ive outgrown and one by one,day by day i practice new behaviours. my past has impactedon my life but with recovery i practice a new way of living. im still raising myself with the help of my HP and recovery groups like alanon and coda. the **** was always going on in my family tree but the buck stops with me. let it begin....and let me breathe deeply first.

GingerM

This was one of my main reasons for my decision to not have children. It may have been going on in my family for generations, but it stops with me.

Wascally Wabbit

Thanks for the link, and for the responses.
I believe once we understand what the problem is, we can choose to learn how to protect ourselves from it.