Frustration with alanon
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Join Date: Aug 2006
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Posts: 231
Frustration with alanon
Good morning all, I just had an aha moment this morning and wanted to share. I began posting on this forum because of issues with my alcoholic parents. Just this week I've posted a little on the "friends and family" forum about my as.
Quite often the advice has been to seek out alanon meetings. I did that years ago and was turned off by all the "whining" about alcoholic spouses. What was wrong with these people? They have choices. They have issues with someone they can get away from. Me? I've got alcoholic parents and an addicted child. I have no choice but to be in these relationships.
This morning as I was contemplating finding a meeting and trying again, it was like the biggest light bulb ever flashed in my mind. I do to have a choice too. Aha!
Quite often the advice has been to seek out alanon meetings. I did that years ago and was turned off by all the "whining" about alcoholic spouses. What was wrong with these people? They have choices. They have issues with someone they can get away from. Me? I've got alcoholic parents and an addicted child. I have no choice but to be in these relationships.
This morning as I was contemplating finding a meeting and trying again, it was like the biggest light bulb ever flashed in my mind. I do to have a choice too. Aha!
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: oz
Posts: 92
congrats! I too just had an Aha! moment dealing with my mother. Doesn't it feel great! I 'm trying to negotiate new boundaries because I know I don't have to lug her around my entire life. I can make other choices. Its up to me how involved I am. Best of luck making some great choices! 
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
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Hey there Easeful 
I'm glad al-anon had a positive effect in your life, even if it was many years later
I've been to some of those "whiner" meetings you mention. I totally agree with you, those people are _not_ making progress in their lives and they have nothing I want. Al-anon suggest you visit at least six _different_ meetings before you make up your mind. I have found that each meeting has a different "flavor" depending on the people that show up. I have a couple of really good ones here in town that are very positive and filled with people living the kind of life I want for me.
You may want to "shop-around" meetings until you find one you like. And if you don't, you could always start your own
Mike
I'm glad al-anon had a positive effect in your life, even if it was many years later
I've been to some of those "whiner" meetings you mention. I totally agree with you, those people are _not_ making progress in their lives and they have nothing I want. Al-anon suggest you visit at least six _different_ meetings before you make up your mind. I have found that each meeting has a different "flavor" depending on the people that show up. I have a couple of really good ones here in town that are very positive and filled with people living the kind of life I want for me.
You may want to "shop-around" meetings until you find one you like. And if you don't, you could always start your own
Mike
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
I agree with Desert-
Easeful I too guilty of going to the "whiner" meetings and just some that had totally bad energy-One or two people-And that is not newbies to Al-Anon so I felt that I would not be to comfortable around that. I went to many different meetings before finding a GREAT one! We have the "whiners" but the comfort that I feel in that room is amazing! I walk in and feel better within 2 minutes or less and walk out having an excellent day!
We all have choices yes Easeful-you can try more meetings and different ones or choose not to! Whatever you decide way to go on taking care of you!
Easeful I too guilty of going to the "whiner" meetings and just some that had totally bad energy-One or two people-And that is not newbies to Al-Anon so I felt that I would not be to comfortable around that. I went to many different meetings before finding a GREAT one! We have the "whiners" but the comfort that I feel in that room is amazing! I walk in and feel better within 2 minutes or less and walk out having an excellent day!
We all have choices yes Easeful-you can try more meetings and different ones or choose not to! Whatever you decide way to go on taking care of you!
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