Rella927

I hope no one minds me sharing this today...it just felt so grand and thought I would share:

From the book of Daily affirmations for Adult Children of Alcoholics
Rokelle Lerner


I will clear the air with honest, open communication today. I will not deny my anger nor will I smile while inwardly seething. I will be honest about my feelings.

When I deny or repress my anger, I remain stuck within it, imprisoned. When I’m honest enough to express my anger, I discharge this emotion and begin to move beyond it.

In the past, much of my energy has been spent trying to repress the anger I feel and making me numb in the process. My fear of destroying relationships and alienating people has kept anger locked inside of me.

Today I acknowledge that relationships aren’t destroyed by honest expressions of anger. But relationships can die as a consequence of anger that is not expressed.
Anger unexpressed kills love, kills passion, and kills relationships. This day I will clear the air with honesty.

GingerM

Very nice Rella. What a wonderful message and needed reminder for those of us who have travelled further down our paths.

Not being able to 'speak my truth' nearly destroyed my marriage, so I can attest to silence killing a relationship. I believe that was the hardest thing I had to do in my marriage counseling, was learn to say when I was unhappy or angry or didn't want to do something.

CatsPajamas

Rella,

This is JUST what I needed to hear today. Ginger, not being able to speak my truth DID destroy my first marriage.... finding my truth and speaking it was able to save me and empower me in an abusive relationship.

I have recently slipped back into to some old patterns of behavior, and I need to be reminded of this... to speak my truth.

Thanks

Cats

Rella927

Cat and Ginger....blessings to you both

This is what I'am dealing with now Cat-"slipped back into some old patterns of behavior" and may end up losing this man that I love with my heart and soul. I have owned my responsibilities and apologized for them the best that I could. I spoke my truth, my desires and this is HUGE! Whatever the outcome is I will now be ok with that because I set my mind free of the anger, resentments, fear that held us back from one another. I leave him in my HP's hands and tend to my own garden of life! HUGE! If he makes the choice to walk along this journey of life with me I will welcome him with open arms-if he does not I will deal with the pain of losing him but, I will gain the knowledge of knowing I was open and honest!

SaTiT

thanks for sharing Rella.
I'm pretty much going through the samething.
growning up in an alcoholic's home I wasn't allowed to expressed any
of my feelings. So as i got older, i continue on with the habit. i suffer
from depression all my life. mmm..i wonder why?

My gf use it against me becuase I'm also an AA member and AA gose
into justified is not good for me..yes i can understand when people
act out in anger they can be butts. But the truth of it is..I'm quite
to begin with. So whatever chaos or madness happened when my gf
was using. I was suppost to be so spiritaul and forgive her and swollow
my anger while she wreacks our lives again and again. By I not saying
anything, it made it eaier for her to continue on the path of dsytructions.
and I got angerier inside.

Even to this day , she dosen't wanna hear about it and questions about
my recovery and my spiritaulality. The truth of the matter is she dose
things that would make any humans angery. We can get into a great
discussion about how no one can actaully make me feel a certain way.
but realisticlly, if i smack someone over their heads in F2F they're are
going to feel something.
Yes i can totally agree that once I have anger , it's my responsiblity
to rid of it. but i no longer live in denial of denying my anger.

what fustrates the heck out of me is my gf expect me not to be angery
at anything, especailly anything that pretains to her wreacking our lives.
i can truley appricate that I shouldn't carry a grudge and let by gone be by
gone. I try to explain it to her in a way that I'm not attacking her, that i'm
just angery at certain issues still, but she dosen't want to hear about.
My intent is not to make her feel guilty becuase i know what's done is
done and there's really nothing we can do to change the past.

I just feel angery....and that's about as honest as i can get.

My spiriatual advisor gave me living tools. She told me i can
go talk to a rock or the trees about all my problems.
i been thowning rocks and cutting trees processing my anger.
becuase..i guess some people can't handle the truth or honesty.

I'm not depressed today thou.

GiveLove

Wonderful post!!!!!!
GL