Kimm992

For some reason today I really feel like I just want my mom to take me in her arms and hug me and tell me that everything is going to be fine and that she'll make it all better.

She's never done that before....I've always been the "adult" comforting her. I've never really had anyone to rely on or lean on and I just imagine that having that would feel like a huge release....like a weight lifted...and I wonder if I'll ever get to feel that or if I've become so accustomed to handling everything on my own that I don't know how to be any other way.

allison060669

Kimmy,
Moms will be the same ol' moms they always were. Instead of placing this on her (unwilling) shoulders look to other family members or friends that will gladly do this for you. We all need that reassurance, its completely natural. But if its forced upon her no weight will be lifted.

Take care of yourself.

-Allison

Kimm992

Thanks...

I know I will never get it from her. She's not capable and she never has been and I know that. I don't have any unrealistic expectations....it's just....she's my mom and I just really feel like I need her today for some reason....not my aunt or my cousin or anyone else.....just her. I know it's not going to happen...but I still feel it.

DesertEyes

Hey there Kimmy,

Sorry to hear you're feeling this way. My parents never hugged me, so I can appreciate a little of what you're going thru. It really sucks. I have found that "huge release" on my own. I found it with people who are _real_ friends, people that have earned my trust.

Have you been going to any meetings recently? Getting support from real-life people? I go to my meets when I'm feeling down and I always feel better.

Mike

GingerM

Hi Kim,

I also know that feeling all too well.

For me to finally find that huge release, I had to change my definition of 'family' from "people I was blood related to" to "people I choose to have in my life who are supportive and caring and in all manners act like my family". My blood-family is not capable of giving me what I need.

That said, I still occasionally wish that my blood family could give me what I need. Like you, I don't expect it, I know it won't happen, but I wish for it. I also wish for thin thighs and a pony while I'm at it to remind myself that wishes only come true in Disney movies. The rest I have to work for.

shinjee

Hi Kimmy,

Give you a bear hug here

Trying.

I think its the fantasy mother that we are longing for. We can never have that person because they never were real, but we can learn to mother our own inner child. It takes time but it can be done.