ACOA Book Club
Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Leaving Sparta
Posts: 2,912
I liked the book because it was written in a simple and easy format that I could follow.
There are no existing AcOa meetings here that I know of so I acquired the book several years ago in order to take a look at that particular area of my life.
My first look into the book was a very painful experience for me and I sat on the edge of my bed for an hour and cried.
I called my sponsor the following morning and he suggested to me that AcOa's who themselves have a drinking problem need to get some good recovery going for their alcoholism before they can even begin to take a look at this very painful area of their lives.
I took his suggestion seriously and it is only recently that I have started taking little peeks into the book again.
There was a lot of shame,guilt abandonment and abuse in my family and I believe I like a many other AcOa's may have PTSD.
The emotional scars of abandonment and abuse can have serious life damaging consequences.
AcOa is still not an easy thing for me to look at and even now there is a lump in my throat but little by little I am coming to the point where I can start saying "I understand now", instead of..."it's OK peter..." because it never was and it never will be until I learn to deal with it....
Peter.
There are no existing AcOa meetings here that I know of so I acquired the book several years ago in order to take a look at that particular area of my life.
My first look into the book was a very painful experience for me and I sat on the edge of my bed for an hour and cried.
I called my sponsor the following morning and he suggested to me that AcOa's who themselves have a drinking problem need to get some good recovery going for their alcoholism before they can even begin to take a look at this very painful area of their lives.
I took his suggestion seriously and it is only recently that I have started taking little peeks into the book again.
There was a lot of shame,guilt abandonment and abuse in my family and I believe I like a many other AcOa's may have PTSD.
The emotional scars of abandonment and abuse can have serious life damaging consequences.
AcOa is still not an easy thing for me to look at and even now there is a lump in my throat but little by little I am coming to the point where I can start saying "I understand now", instead of..."it's OK peter..." because it never was and it never will be until I learn to deal with it....
Peter.
Supply Manager
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Cleaverville
Posts: 2,898
Peter,
I too have enough recovery that I think I can take a peek down this road. I have enough recovery to know that my parents did the best they knew at the time...at least I know that in my head. I am not so sure about my heart. Time will tell.
I think you sponsor was very wise.
Hugs,
JT
I too have enough recovery that I think I can take a peek down this road. I have enough recovery to know that my parents did the best they knew at the time...at least I know that in my head. I am not so sure about my heart. Time will tell.
I think you sponsor was very wise.
Hugs,
JT
Paused
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Enterprise, AL
Posts: 3
Just thought I would Share
Not only do I deal with the daily stress of trying to stay clean, I deal with my past. I read Claudia Black's book It's Never too Late to Have a Happy Childhood, Inspirations for Adult Children. I read this book almost daily.. For those that have to deal with this,, I thought I would share that this book is great,. it gives you that little boost that you need.
Just thought I would share will all of you:
Just thought I would share will all of you:
Paused
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Ohio, US
Posts: 50
Hey thanks!
I'll look into getting that. I could use a boost. All I am reading right now are Sales books. I just started training in furniture sales. My brain is about fried.
Hope to talk more to you soon!
Love ya,
--Ångel
I'll look into getting that. I could use a boost. All I am reading right now are Sales books. I just started training in furniture sales. My brain is about fried.
Hope to talk more to you soon!
Love ya,
--Ångel
believer
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: walking in faith
Posts: 1,023
Re: ACOA Book Club
Ok, I have another book to add: Homecoming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child, by John Bradshaw.
Now, some of you may be wary of the "inner child" stuff, and I've only just begun reading the book. But so much of it is already hitting home for me. It was recommended to me by my new therapist and focuses on uncovering our original pain and grieving for our wounded inner child at different developmental stages in our life, from infancy to adolescence. For some of you who feel stuck, this may help. At least, that's what I'm hoping.
It consists of writing assignments and meditations. It's not a book to read, it's a book to do, and the author recommends doing the work with a sponsor, support group, or therapist, although it can be done by yourself.
I'll be starting on my infancy stuff in the next day or so. I'll let you know how it goes...
Now, some of you may be wary of the "inner child" stuff, and I've only just begun reading the book. But so much of it is already hitting home for me. It was recommended to me by my new therapist and focuses on uncovering our original pain and grieving for our wounded inner child at different developmental stages in our life, from infancy to adolescence. For some of you who feel stuck, this may help. At least, that's what I'm hoping.
It consists of writing assignments and meditations. It's not a book to read, it's a book to do, and the author recommends doing the work with a sponsor, support group, or therapist, although it can be done by yourself.
I'll be starting on my infancy stuff in the next day or so. I'll let you know how it goes...
Jujubee Queen
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
Re: ACOA Book Club
Hi all,
I found a book today at the half-price book store. It's called Recovery: A guide for Adult Children of Alcoholic, by Herbert Gravitz, and Julie D. Bowden.
It's an older book, originally written in 1987, but chocked full of info for me, cause I'm just new to this concept that I'm not "normal" LOL
It's a question and answer kind of working on you as you go through the book. I'm only half finished, but it's holding MY interest. (which says a lot these days.)
I found a book today at the half-price book store. It's called Recovery: A guide for Adult Children of Alcoholic, by Herbert Gravitz, and Julie D. Bowden.
It's an older book, originally written in 1987, but chocked full of info for me, cause I'm just new to this concept that I'm not "normal" LOL
It's a question and answer kind of working on you as you go through the book. I'm only half finished, but it's holding MY interest. (which says a lot these days.)
Paused
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Philadelphia Pennsylvania
Posts: 2
Hi , my name is april.. I am new to this site and just ordered that book, Perfect Daughters. I am so anxious for it to arrive .I can not wait to read it.I also am waititng for Struggle for Intimacy.
Last edited by cravenapril; 08-19-2004 at 07:42 AM. Reason: title of book
Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Pittsburgh,PA
Posts: 4
If anyone is still looking for books...
Hi All,
Here are the books that I have read/am reading: I recenlty read Adult Children Of Alcoholics by Janet G. Woititz and am getting ready to read another of her books Lifeskills for Adult Children. The first was really good, it gives basic information and insights into why we are the way we are and do the things we do. The second is more of a working book. It gives you little assignments to do. Both are easy reading. Hope this helps anyone who is looking for it.
Here are the books that I have read/am reading: I recenlty read Adult Children Of Alcoholics by Janet G. Woititz and am getting ready to read another of her books Lifeskills for Adult Children. The first was really good, it gives basic information and insights into why we are the way we are and do the things we do. The second is more of a working book. It gives you little assignments to do. Both are easy reading. Hope this helps anyone who is looking for it.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 4
After reading a few ACOA specific books, Emotional Healing: A Program for Emotional Sobriety by Karen Paine-Gernee and Terry Hunt has been the most useful so far. The authors do a great job of explaining the world of a ACOA (pre and post childhood) and most importantly steps towards emotional recovery.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 70
Toxic Parents - Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life -- Susan Forward, PhD
Leaving the Enchanted Forest - The Path from Relationship Addictio to Intimacy -- Stephanie Covington & Liana Beckett
Women, Sex and Addiction -- Charlotte Davis Kasl
I've looked at several books and these are some of my absolute faves that aren't already listed.
Leaving the Enchanted Forest - The Path from Relationship Addictio to Intimacy -- Stephanie Covington & Liana Beckett
Women, Sex and Addiction -- Charlotte Davis Kasl
I've looked at several books and these are some of my absolute faves that aren't already listed.
Cruelty-Free
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Body: South Florida Heart: Yosemite National Park
Posts: 914
Here are two that can be picked up (or ordered) at most Al-Anon meetings, as they are put out by Al-Anon Family Groups:
From Survival to Recovery: Growing Up in an Alcoholic Home--this is the text used at an Al-Anon Adult Child Focus meeting I used to attend. Pretty powerful stuff for people like me.
Hope For Today--Al-Anon's newest daily reader, originally intended specifically for adult children. It ended up being very accessible to non-ACOAs as well, and it certainly hits many of the core issues straight on.
From Survival to Recovery: Growing Up in an Alcoholic Home--this is the text used at an Al-Anon Adult Child Focus meeting I used to attend. Pretty powerful stuff for people like me.
Hope For Today--Al-Anon's newest daily reader, originally intended specifically for adult children. It ended up being very accessible to non-ACOAs as well, and it certainly hits many of the core issues straight on.
and that is all that matters..
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 73
"Healing Your Aloneness - Finding Love and Wholeness Through Your Inner Child" By Erika J. Chopich and Margaret Paul. I really think it is helping. I like the stuff from John Bradshaw as well, but this book seems to really be a good fit. I have another from the Author - "Inner Bonding". I am reading that one next. It takes awhile for me to read a book as I spend a lot of time rereading, underlining, and writing in the margins. I recommend this book to anyone who continually tells themselves negative messages.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: State of Uncertainty
Posts: 5
I've been reading the Gravitz and Bowden book Recovery mentioned above, and find it useful as a brief accessible and on-target refresher of the basic core issues and dynamics that feel normal to me/us and not so much to folks raised in more open and functional families.
My therapist recommended and I began reading a different book - not specifically ACOA but very helpful - called The Power of Now, by Eckhart (Eckart?) Tolle. It's helping me, even after only a chapter or two, to reduce my tendency to overthink life and to 'overidentify' with my mind at the expense of other ways of being. There's a workbook companion out there also but I havent' received it yet...
My therapist recommended and I began reading a different book - not specifically ACOA but very helpful - called The Power of Now, by Eckhart (Eckart?) Tolle. It's helping me, even after only a chapter or two, to reduce my tendency to overthink life and to 'overidentify' with my mind at the expense of other ways of being. There's a workbook companion out there also but I havent' received it yet...
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