Hey JT
 

I was just thinking. :fright:

I've spent most of my life looking within and letting the HP fix the defects. I know you have too. I look at other people and even though they aren't perfect or have perfect lives they seem to just live.

Can obsessive recovery be a bad thing? Isn't there a time to stop looking in the mirror and view the scenery? I would love to just stop thinking and digging sometimes.

(Forgive me for buttin in on this thread....:D)

I often feel the same way about obsessive recovery. But when I do try to stop to look at the scenery, I still can't enjoy it!!! I think I'm trying to work to a point that I can accept things as they are and not feel compelled to try and fix me all the time. But, I'm nowhere near that point....

Hmmm, this may be a codie issue. The obsessive need to fix things. If I stop trying to fix myself and I can't fix anyone else, what in the world would I do all day????

I get really really tired of always trying to fix myself.

Sometimes I do just forget about it....and then I think it is escapism?!?! hahahahahahaha

I think that too sometimes...but when I let it go too long,which I did for a period before I came here, I go back to old behaviors which are not positive. I am one of those people who has to do this I guess.

But I am finding that the farther I get the happier I am overall. I tend toward depression...as a teenager, and on into adulthood. I am a brooder. And a major control freak which is not productive for me.

MG...if I don't look in the mirror I don't see the scenery.


JT

Maybe learning balance is the key. I'm a little more balanced than I used to be. I'LL KEEP WORKING ON IT, lol.

Wow MG, I love this topic.....hope it's ok for me to sneak in too.

This is so thought provoking. I would think it depends on the individual. I think all anyone really wants is peace and serenity. To many I think that is happiness, or more happiness then they have known in the past. I have always been a relatively happy person and when my thoughts or behavior start to get in the way of that, I know i have to step back and take a look. For me it has been a process. I let my living get away from me a lot and then usually something snaps me back to reality and I have to go to a meeting or talk to a friend or something and take a look at what's going on.

I do think you're right though. It is all about balance. I think i'll be looking within for the rest of my life because in regard to so many questions I've asked, drugs I've taken, people that have come and/or gone......I've always found my answer there.

MG, this has been brewing in my head.

And I got to thinking ...this is pretty damned judgmental of us, don't you think so??? Towards ourselves??? Is THAT our concept of God and Love????
That we are not compassionate and empathetic to our own humanity.

Love others as you love yourselves ...implies that we LOVE ourselves in our humanity, which is by definition imperfect.

Are we going to judge it or accept it?

OWIE! Sorry if I stepped on toes! Know that I am walking on my own feeties here too.

Hmmm....

While I do agree that God loves and accepts me as is, imperfections and all, for me that doesn't automatically translate into the peaceful and serene life that I'm looking for. Maybe it should. Maybe that's where I'm lacking in my spirituality. But I don't feel like I'm supposed to just sit around and accept me as is, even if God does, especially if there are conflicts within me that I can resolve which would result in a better quality of life. In fact, doesn't the serenity prayer tell us to have the courage to change the things we can? In fact, I think the serenity prayer is the key to achieving that balance....

My light bulb moment
 

Hi Everyone

The answer for me was in these two steps of the 12 steps of Alanon.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove these defects of character.

and. .

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

I realized it wasn't really up to me I just had to be ready for God to do His work. It was a powerful realization and again just confirms the gentleness of the program.


Blessings Mo