I'm at a loss, please help!!

Old 02-25-2007, 10:48 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: South Africa
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I'm at a loss, please help!!

Hi guys...

Well, as you may know, my alcoholic mother is staying with us for a month.
A while ago I told you that she'd be moving out at the end of Feb. However, she has since decided she wants to wait a while longer for another place. We accepted this because the place is not right next door to us, so that is a plus.

Well, she has been drinking furiously the past few weeks and I just didn't know what to do. I felt like just writing her off and kicking her out.

People, I found out this weekend that she has breast cancer. How do I deal with this? I can't just tell her to leave when I'm her only support system...

Argh, I'm so confused, I can't even verbalize what I feel...

Thanks for listening anyway
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Old 02-26-2007, 04:17 AM
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Ahimsa's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Mountain West
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Oh Trinity, my heart goes out to you, and I am so sorry you are being faced with this terribly difficult situation. I know those feelings of being torn in two different directions. Have you talked with her much about her drinking since she has been living with you?? have you discussed the wedding with her (what you expect of her)?? How much longer will she be living with you now, or is there a date? I know you feel like you can't kick her out...but she knows that she is slowly killing herself with the alcohol, and hasn't shown any appreciation to you for trying to support her in I am not sure that even if you provide all the support she needs right now, how receptive she actually will be to that...what do you think?
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Old 02-26-2007, 08:59 PM
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DesertEyes's Avatar
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Hey there trinity,

Originally Posted by trinity82 View Post
... I can't just tell her to leave when I'm her only support system...
I dunno what it's like where you guys live, but over here there is a wonderful support system called "Alcoholics Anonymous". All she has to do is look 'em up in the phone book.

And for _you_ there is another support system called al-anon, they have been wonderful to me. Have you checked them out yet in your area?

Another question that comes to mind is who diagnosed your Mom's breast cancer? I assume a recent doctor visit? If so, then it would be very important for this doctor to be aware of your Mom's drinking habits as they might have a serious effect on her health. Is there any chance you could meet with her doctor?

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