How do you control your emotions
 

to just do what you have to do? I can't seem to push them aside and ask for help when I need it! Pride is the worst of them!

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

Talking and sharing your emotions with safe people has defintely helped me. I know it's SOOO hard to set aside things like pride, but if you can do this--and just be able to break down and show your true emotions (to a trusting person) --its very rewarding. Its rewarding becuase these people who care about us are able to reaffirm our true emotions--our pain, our crying--whatever it may be. After having let down our barriers (pride, etc.) and seeing that these people still love us just the same....we can begin to let go of our fears--let go of our defense mechanisms... Its just imporant to make sure you share with safe and trusting people--especially at first. I just try to say to myself...whats the worst that can happen?? (I KNOW this is hard)--and then I just go for it. Geting over the first obstacle is the hardest....but those affirmations of our feelings make it easier and easier every time.
Much Love & Support in Recovery!
~Stephanie

I always stuffed my emotions and acted strong for the sake of survival in an alcoholic, abusive environment. Then came my first meeting at ACoA and my tears and emotions overflowed beyond my control. This program saved my sanity and well-being. I hope you will attend an ACoA meeting just as quickly as you can... I don't think you'll be sorry. I sure wasn't. It was the best thing I ever did for myself and I live in serenity and gratitude.

Good luck to you.

luv2all

Writing in a journal....talking....going to meetings....FOR ME I have to pray for humility all the time...It kills me

Is it pride or is it fear of looking weak or incapable in front of others?

If it's the latter, you can reframe it as "I am human, therefore I can not be perfect at everything I do and sometimes I will need help. It does not make me weak, it makes me human."

I DON'T!!!! Instead of years of trying to control my emotions, I acknowledge them. I try not to act or speak on them until I can be honest with myself about them. Most of the time when I feel I have behaved inappropriately, or hurtfully, I find that I am trying to ignore or stuff a feeling and it is coming out subversively as an aggressive feeling. Honesty with my feelings is a much gentler/kinder way for me to develop humility and empathy.

Faith is very personal, but I am proud that my higher power made me perfect in his eyes. I am proud of the love that I share with my higher power.

Are you feeling shame or afraid of expressing pride? Is pride covering up other feelings?

Thank you for sharing here. It makes us all stronger.

To be honest, most of the time I don't know how I feel until after the fact. My therapist told me to just be practical and stop living on emotion. I feel numb so I don't know what she means. I can tell you later how I felt typing this but not now. I have always been intuitive to the emotions and needs of others but never myself. They say thats the case with many ACOA and codies ( I am both). I guess knowledge is power and I will figure this out.

Thanks for all your responses!

Just my take on it. I think she means stop reacting to your emotions, not stop feeling them. For me, when I feel strongly about something, my first instinct is to DO SOMETHING about it. This is my urge to control. If I do something immediately, then I don't have to deal directly with the uncomfortable feelings. I react to the external cause of the feelings instead of the internal cause.

It's not about controlling your emotions. It's about controlling your reactions to them.

JMHO,

L