Ahimsa

Hi All...Just curious: Is everyone here very cautious and sensitive when it comes to their OWN drinking (if you do...). I NEVER go out, and NEVER drink...never really was big into that, and I think it is out of fear of turning out like my mother. My boyfriend's father was an alcoholic (sober now!!) and both of us kind of panic when we want to go to a pub or have a beer at a restaurant. We both start to feel really ashamed, and begin to over-analyze WHY we want to order a glass of wine/bottle of beer/etc. I assume not all ACoAs steer away from alcohol, and those that do choose to drink occasionally, are you extremely sensitive/nervous/anxious when you do??? Do you monitor yourself really closely and feel guilty after a drink or two????

Adore

Hi there,

I was just thinking about this the other day! So many common issues come up, it's wonderful to see.

From a very young age, I chose to stay away from alcohol. I sort of learned it, after watching my father binge-drink night after night. I assumed alcohol was the problem. Now, I know it wasn't the alcohol, it was him! He had emotional problems, that were causing him to be this way/ out of control.

Now as an adult, I'm sort of glad I chose the way I did. I feel it's a good habit for me, that I avoid alcohol still. Saves money. Probably good for my health too.

I used to and still do, feel a little moral superiority that I'm not a drinker. I still feel since my emotional psyche is not super-stable yet, and I have addictive behaviors that I might end up abusing alcohol. Not something I'd be proud of...so fortunately don't choose to go there.

Ahimsa, I think those concerns about another persons's drinking are normal. Deep down, we all don't want to live through our childhood experiences again and so we are wary of alcohol and anyone who drinks it has the potential of being our parents in our child's eyes.

I take time and observe another person's drinking, like my boyfriend, I'm able to tell if he has a dependency or abuses it. You will feel comfortable with these decisions too! It is as easy as learning...

All my best.

Butternut

Ahimsa, I know what you mean, I am an ACoA, dad sober for 30+ years now, my Ex of 18 years a very abusive Alcoholic, current husband of 2 years also a recovering Alcoholic, (we do repeat what we know) if I go out with friends or over to friends houses for celebration I feel really guilty if I have a drink.

troubles

I used to, but I remember a few times earlier in my life, I took the 'if you can't beat them join them' attitude. I thought maybe the only way I could get on a level with the A's in my life was to drink like them and with them. But I always failed.

I'd get myself drunk for one night and then feel sick at the sight or smell of alcohol and couldn't bear to drink it again for months and months after. Weird. Drinking alcohol just does not agree with me physically.

Sure I remember being drunk, feeling self-confident, loss of inhibitions, happy, talking non-stop and even thinking how funny I was, loved those feelings. But the next morning I would be soooooo sick, to the point that the thought of drinking alcohol again would nearly make me vomit.

l was furious at why I couldn't drink alcohol like the A's in my life. After a few more attempts of forcing myself to try and become a daily drinking kind of person. I finally accepted that physically I was unable to. Also I dislike the taste of alcoholic drinks and rather a diet-coke anyday.

I've heard A's say after they had their very first drink they knew they were addicted. I believe alcoholism is in the gene pool chemistry of an individual. Some of us get it and some of us don't. BUT I also believe there are distinct personality traits that are passed down from generation to generation when alcoholism is in the family.

Alcoholism in my large family is one of the many passed down afflictions like acne, psoriasis, breast-cancer, asthma. Some of us got one or more of these while other family members didn't.

In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with enjoying alcohol in moderation. But when a person's alcohol intake is excessive and causing them and the people they care about problems.....well then it's time to worry, stop and get help asap.

Cecilia

I never was much of a drinker. Dont really care for the taste of it. Never could understand how my Huz and his buds could consume such mass quantities of beer. Heck I cant even get a whole pepsi down without feeling bloated let alone a 12 pack.

In my younger days I did try to drink to fit in. But I didnt like the feeling. I like to know where Im at and what Im doing. I just couldnt give up control. Ive always been a square peg so I just figured that was another one of my differences.

Also Ive seen how stupid people act when theyre drunk. No way could I imagine embarassing myself like that.

Ive always felt that if you have to be drunk to dance on the table then you shouldnt be up there. LOL. .

GingerM

I was a binge drinker in college, went cold turkey when I realized what path I was heading down. Relapsed shortly after graduating, but stopped again within a year of starting. Currently I don't drink at all, but that's because of medical reasons. Funny thing is, now that I've dealt with so many of my demons, I don't really feel any desire to drink so it doesn't bother me that I don't.

HappyWife

Yes I tend to shy away from drinking myself. I will have a glass of wine or two at my favorite restaraunt which we only go to about 3 times a year because it's so expensive. I am very scared of becoming an alcoholic like my mom. She was just a tad younger than me when she started drinking so my thinking is what if I just have one that leads to two that leads to lots of pain for my husband and children down the road.

My sister on the other hand will have an occasional drink and not think twice about it. She says she is not our mom and would never allow herself to become that way. I on the other hand am scared of alcohol.

Strange thing is it bothers me to be around women drinking but not men.

came2believe

Well,I on the other hand swore up and down I would never be alcoholic like them, all the while with a bottle of vodka in one hand because I was such a 'badass'. Lo and behold, that is just what I did... I was hooked from my first sip of alcohol probably longer ago than I can remember, emptying glasses at my parents parties...

I am in recovery now though, and hope to pass recovery, at least, down to future generations - since it doesn't look like I have the ability to choose whether or not to pass alcoholism along.

elizabeth1979

Ive had mental conflict with drinking. In college I binge drank..even after college.
I drink, but Im mindful of the disease I know I am predisposed to.

wildeagle

I definitely feel this way. When I was in college, I drank like a "normal college student" (well, like my friends, anyway). My mom started her binge drinking when I was a junior, and all of a sudden I was terrified that I was an alcoholic too, even though nothing had changed about my drinking and it wasn't similar to hers. I drink far less now than I did in college, but those thoughts still go through my head whenever I feel like buying a bottle of wine.

Cecilia

Funny how we push things down and forget about them. Before my Huz went to jail I did go just a teeny bit crazy. I threw out every thing in the house and I let him know he would be next if he even looked at anything alcoholic.

I dont drink but Ive always cooked with it. I used to make some awesome desserts. Its been seven years and its just been this last year that I went and got some to make a cake.

I remember getting into it with the Outlaws the Christmas after he went to jail. For some reason they had wine. They never have anything. They got angry with me because I wouldnt have any. At the time we were still in the papers and on tv and we were being sued. All I could see was me getting stopped on the way home. My name in the papers. Wife of arch criminal is a drunk too. LOL.