Anyone cut off from parents completely?
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
I know how hard it is when a toxic parent gets old, I live it every day with my Mom, there is guilt, there is fear. My greatest fear is that she will live to be a hundred and still have a drink in her hand.
My brother and I joke about it, we figure she will be a 100, have a drink of Crown Royal in her hand and be pushing us around in wheelchairs...the funny part about it, is that it could happen!
Many of my friends, are questioning the entire process, they are in thier late 50's and are caretakers for their parents, who are in thier 70's & 80's, they are questioning if they will ever have a retirement of their own, as people keep living longer and longer, and most are grumpy, mean and self serving..then we have the type like my mother, all of the above and a drunk too.....quite a circumstance.
I'll close too, I'm just a ramblin along, must be the topic...Lol!
My brother and I joke about it, we figure she will be a 100, have a drink of Crown Royal in her hand and be pushing us around in wheelchairs...the funny part about it, is that it could happen!
Many of my friends, are questioning the entire process, they are in thier late 50's and are caretakers for their parents, who are in thier 70's & 80's, they are questioning if they will ever have a retirement of their own, as people keep living longer and longer, and most are grumpy, mean and self serving..then we have the type like my mother, all of the above and a drunk too.....quite a circumstance.
I'll close too, I'm just a ramblin along, must be the topic...Lol!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Victoria, Australia
Posts: 12
My great-grandmother lived to be 102 with her bottle of sherry and half full glass beside her.
My grandmother lived to 85 (life-time alcoholic) and her poor husband (my grandfather) didn't drink at all and dropped dead of a heart attack at 60.
My father (the drinker) is 82 and is healthier and stronger than me. I don't drink alcohol at all, I hate it.
Sometimes I wonder if my life would've been less stressful and less heart-breaking if I was a drinker. (lol)
I'm almost certain my parents will outlive me that's why I had to make the hard decision to sever all contact with them, for my sake, sounds selfish I know. I have craved a peaceful life ever since I can remember but, the mental stuff/scars never seems to fade away.
I have peace in my life but not peace of mind, yet.
My grandmother lived to 85 (life-time alcoholic) and her poor husband (my grandfather) didn't drink at all and dropped dead of a heart attack at 60.
My father (the drinker) is 82 and is healthier and stronger than me. I don't drink alcohol at all, I hate it.
Sometimes I wonder if my life would've been less stressful and less heart-breaking if I was a drinker. (lol)
I'm almost certain my parents will outlive me that's why I had to make the hard decision to sever all contact with them, for my sake, sounds selfish I know. I have craved a peaceful life ever since I can remember but, the mental stuff/scars never seems to fade away.
I have peace in my life but not peace of mind, yet.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Arlington Heights, Illinois
Posts: 32
I still haven't had contact with my parents. Through my al-anon meetings I am learning compassion for my mother. I still know she needs help though and I also know I can't do anything about it. I hope someday we can talk, but for now I am just not ready. I do have much more peace in my life. I truly don't want anything to do with my father. So many of the scars are just too deep still. He is such a sick man outside of the drinking that I just can't risk letting him near my children or myself for that matter.
Thanks so much for all of your replies! They have been very helpful to me through this ordeal.
Many blessings to all of you.
Thanks so much for all of your replies! They have been very helpful to me through this ordeal.
Many blessings to all of you.
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