jacksdaughter

I guess it is till beyond me that this has happened yet again at the holidays and here I was thinking it wasn't going to. Can't figure out why I never learn. Anyway I am working on the detachment, should have really worked harder on it years ago. It's just so sad to think someone has such total disrgard for everyone elses feelings.

elizabeth1979

Hi jacksdaughter,

Im sorry you are hurting. Christmas is a really tough time for me too.
Try to be gentle with yourself and not beat yourself up over this. Its understandable, to hope for change, even when no evidence of it is present.

Will you have time to do something nice for yourself? I bought myself Christmas presents this year!

jacksdaughter

Yes I am very fortunate in many ways, wonderful husband, great kids and an adorable so in love with him Grandson. But the guilt over the fact that I don't want to see my parents at all this Christmas is there, but after last weekend the binge and the hospital etc... I just don't see me seeing them anytime soon. I just still (stupid me) can't belive they are still lying and not thinking that he needs help, it is so so beyond my comprehension. You would think after 20 years it would have sunk into my think brain already.

leviathon

I can totally relate. I had not even realized just how much Christmas bothers me... I'm thirty nine and I have spent about 20 of them alone. I have been on my own since I was 13/14 and those early teen ones really hurt. I guess to some extent all of the christamses spent alone hurt.

Peace, Levi

Gemini31

Me too. I hope to have a family of my own someday so that Christmas will not be so lonely. Now it's just any other day.

DesertEyes

I make my own Xmas. I buy myself a nice gift or two. Put up a little tree, call up all my friends just to wish them a happy holiday, then take myself out to a nice restaurant just to be nice to _me_. The only thing I need to be happy is to stop expecting other people to do things to make me happy. As long as I am the source of my own happiness I will never be disapointed.

Mike

elizabeth1979

Being lonely at Christmas is hard. This holiday is full of marketing trickery thought up with the intention of making those who are alone, feel more alone. I was watching the news this morning..how to cope with the holidays when alone. Today on a mojor website..how to deal with being alone for Christmas. The commercials on tv, the people at the mall that ask what Im getting my boyfriend/husband..its a reminder that Im alone.

I choose to be. I can be. I am alone because my sanity and my health is important to me. It hurts sometime, but its worth it.

Gemini31

I agree with you 100%! Not to mention that we aren't out getting ourselves into enormous debt to prove our love to anyone. Not that loved ones don't deserve nice gifts, I just think people go so overboard.

I would much rather have someone surprise me with a gift on a random day of the year or my birthday.

Johneebegood

Merry Christmas!,

I understand how you see it as a disregard for everyones feelings. He is struggling with a very hideous disease. I assure you no one knows the pain he is dealing with, broken dreams, broken life, broken relationships. It will never be like it was. Life is about change and I will pray for a change for the better for you. I know its hard but all you can do is just love him and take care of yourself. I was an addict for 34 years and Im so glad today that my family didnt abandon all hope for me.. Things did change !

pooh bear

Christmas is tough time. Remember to take care of yourself.