justicej

Is it just me? But I often feel left out of the 12 step process. I love the beauty of the program, however there aren't hardly any ACA meetings. I can't get a sponsor. I am the adult child of an adult child. The amount of covert depression, continuous psychological abuse, sexualization, and codependent behavior training that I grew up with makes me want to jump on the boat of recovery, but I find that I am left out. I am actively seeking health and growth. I do lots of self help, workbooks, reading & psychotherapy. I am really getting better. I just wish I could join in the 12 steps.
Do any other ACA's wish we were more included in the process?
Just wondering if I'm alone in this experience?

Cynay

Nope you are not alone.... there are not alot of ACOA meetings and so it becomes hard when only focusing on that part. I have found that being a ACOA also gives me alot in comon with Al-anon... so I use Al-anon as my 12 step support group. I dont currently have a sponsor, but my first sponsor was wonderful in my initial growth and I highly recomend finding one.... Im shopping for one now.

Maybe give that a shot... we all use the same program handed down from AA, and that might help you out some.

DesertEyes

Same problem here in Vegas. _No_ ACA meets at all. What I found is that most the folks in Al-Anon also qualify for ACA. So I go to al-anon meets and make friends with the ACA's there and we have our own "meetings after the meeting".

If you find there's enough ACA's in al-anon you can always start your own meet, check it out here

http://www.adultchildren.org/

Mike

23girl

I just looked and found a meeting 5 mins. from home!!!!!

utopia

my city used to hav aca meetings but now theres just alanon. thank god for that though as a lot of the rellies of alkies in alanon are the children of them, i also found going to open aa meetings a big help until i found i was an alkie myself, just that it wasnt that alcohol that was using. peace.

blondy

I also feel left out b/c my husband is a acoa and I am a acdf adult child of a diysfunctional family. The problem is it was never diagnosed no easy label to attach to it....and of course it wasn't really that bad now was it......isn't denial a wonderful place...the grass is always green.....etc

I also live in a foreign country so I know they have meetings but in ROMANIAN. So jump right in if they don't kick me out as a fraud.....you are more than welcome. al anon meeting are great they saved my life more than once. AA meetings are also great it helps understand the "problem".

So we are in the same boat...alone...hah hah just give me a keyboard and I become comic.

utopia

noone ever demanded i PROVE i was an adult child of an alkie. i didnt even know my dad was an alkie for months but i still went to alanon. i knew something was wrong. i knew i used pleasureable things to the excess. i knew i had a tight ball of rage and misery inside. noone ever demanded i be an alkie. we can go to 12 step meetings as observers while we decide. i think this is the only way i got into recovery. i have seen alcoholism/codependency in my extended family. they may not drink but the disease is still their, its a disease of mannerisms. isms. the drinking is just a symptom. do what u gotta do. noone is an expert on any 12 step program. its your choice what you do. peace.