Jwife22

I normally post in Friends and Families of Substance Abusers because my husband is a recovering addict.

Yesterday at his therapist appt. it was a session on Family Dynamics and healing which meant I went. The therapist took me in a room and was talking to me about how I felt about my husbands addiction and how I felt about myself.

I already know I am a codependent...horrible bad...but apparently there are differences between that and showing the signs of being an ACOA. She said I show the signs of being an ACOA.....

My father is an alcoholic. He got sober when I was 10 or so...about 13 years ago.

Hmmm...just wanted you guys to know that I may be stopping in and reading around and posting a bit. Thanks!

TheGirlInside

Nice to see ya, Jwife!

I've read (and perhaps have responded to?) some of your posts, probably on the New Posts section.

Those 13 Characteristics were really difficult for me to read. I cried when I realized that they sounded a lot like what I thought was My Personality. I cried partly because I didn't want to be "one of those" sick people who had to go to meetings, and partly because I was relieved, that "Oh my God, someone knows what's wrong with me. Someone finally knows."

Take Care,

Cynay

Hi glad you could join us.... well ... sorry you have the situation but it is good to meet you.

Im a ACOA but I did not have to take a test to tell me that. I hate being one of "those" people too... boy did I grumble alot when I started Al-anon... I still grumble but for different reasons and most lazy.

I look forward to getting to know you.

Jwife22

Thanks Girl and Cynay....

Yes, i don't want to be one of those people either, with codependency or ACOA tendencies........lol.....but I am glad I know there's something I can do to make it better!

Cynay

Amen to that.... it could be worse, we could be triple winners. I wonder how many meetings we would have to go to then. GEEZZ that would be a bit confusing.

Jwife22

No more......I don't want anything else wrong with me!!!!! LOL..... Lets see, I think I might start seeing a therapist.....I realize I have a lot of unresolved issues....I haven't decided one hundred percent yet but I think it might be a good idea.

Cynay

I have seen a therapist off and on for ohhhhh 15 years.

When I first decided to get healthy they had a different name for us... we were called dysfunctional.. *chuckles* Now we are ACOA. My recovery today also includes a therapist.

DesertEyes

Hey there Jwife, and welcome to ACoA

Please do read all you want, and post anytime the feeling moves you I've seen a few therapists over the years, the good ones did me a huge amount of good. I find that my al-anoid issues are all the result of "emotional baggage" I picked up as a kid in a "toxic family". The more I work on those ACoA issues the easier it becomes to deal with my alanoid "stuff".

I do go to a lot of different 12 steps programs, some for me and some just cuz I'm curious and have friends there. I'm a member of AA, al-anon, ACoA and ISA. I also visit NA, nar-anon and OA from time to time. Someday I get confused and I have to go look at the literature table just to figure out what meeting I'm in.

Anyway, glad you decided to join us. I can't wait to hear your thoughts and comments on all this ACoA stuff

Mike

Jwife22

((Cynay))

That gave me the giggles!! Its probably still called dysfunctional by folks who don't know what its all about....

((deserteyes))

I suppose I didn't want to admit that I am an ACOA. I think its harder for me to admit because I didn't have a totally dysfunctional childhood. My mom wasn't a drinker and took very good care of us...my dad was just MIA even if he was there most of the time.

After my dad quit drinking, he didn't do the 12-steps, but still he became a totally completely different person. He wasn't the "drunk". He started to participate in my school functions and became a great father, yet I still had
resentment toward him and maybe I still do, I'm just good a covering it up. I get confused that maybe its resentment toward him when I am not close to him, like I am with my mother. Things have gotten better between me and him compared to when I was a teenager. I was mean, rude and inconsiderate toward my dad's feelings even though he was not drinking, going to church, taking care of his family, being good to my mom etc.

Sheesh---I didn't even realize all this stuff until I wrote it down.....

I need to do some thinking.