I wish someone had told me....
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Join Date: Mar 2005
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I wish someone had told me....
I'm new to the acoa forum...
I read the sticky that identifies 14 or so 'characteristics' of acoa and I honestly don't think any of them fit me...
And yet, I am an adult child of an alcoholic....
My father has stuggled with alcoholism.
I remember when I was in the 9th or 10th grade, my father entered a rehab program for his drinking. I come from a very large, loving family but certain things just weren't discussed, ya know? (addiction, sex, and drugs to name a few).
We never spoke of my father's stint at rehab. It was treated as a shameful family secret...
I don't remember my dad having a real problem with alcohol after rehab. He would still drink on occassion...sometimes too much...so I guess maybe he did have a problem...but he seemed to function very well...
I didn't know alcoholism (or any type of addiction) was a disease.
I dont' know what I thought about the whole thing to be honest. All I know is that my mom was always a very strong woman and she provided alot of stability to our family and my dad seemed to be okay because my mom was so strong.
I thought alcoholism or addiction was something that could be overcome by the love, strength, and support of a good, faithful wife. I know it sounds incredibly naive...but I honestly believed this up until recently.
My exah is an alcoholic and a drug addict (heroin). I stayed with him for three long, excrutiating years after he picked up the heroin habit because I think I thought my exah would come around if I was just good, strong and faithful enough. Its taken me a long time to figure out that this isn't the case. Its taken me a long time to let go of the problem and let my exah live his life as he chooses and figure his life out on his own.
I wish someone had told me that addiction was a disease.
I wish someone had sat me down and told me what was going on...
I'm not blaming anyone...
Aside from what I've mentioned, my parents are absolutely wonderful. I just wish we had had more open communication in our home about these difficult subjects. I wish it hadn't taken me 41 years and a destroyed marriage to understand how truly powerless I am over another's addiction.
I dont' know if I'm your typical acoa...
I do, however, think that the patterns of behavior that I learned about dealing with alcoholism have affected me.
Can anyone out there relate?
I read the sticky that identifies 14 or so 'characteristics' of acoa and I honestly don't think any of them fit me...
And yet, I am an adult child of an alcoholic....
My father has stuggled with alcoholism.
I remember when I was in the 9th or 10th grade, my father entered a rehab program for his drinking. I come from a very large, loving family but certain things just weren't discussed, ya know? (addiction, sex, and drugs to name a few).
We never spoke of my father's stint at rehab. It was treated as a shameful family secret...
I don't remember my dad having a real problem with alcohol after rehab. He would still drink on occassion...sometimes too much...so I guess maybe he did have a problem...but he seemed to function very well...
I didn't know alcoholism (or any type of addiction) was a disease.
I dont' know what I thought about the whole thing to be honest. All I know is that my mom was always a very strong woman and she provided alot of stability to our family and my dad seemed to be okay because my mom was so strong.
I thought alcoholism or addiction was something that could be overcome by the love, strength, and support of a good, faithful wife. I know it sounds incredibly naive...but I honestly believed this up until recently.
My exah is an alcoholic and a drug addict (heroin). I stayed with him for three long, excrutiating years after he picked up the heroin habit because I think I thought my exah would come around if I was just good, strong and faithful enough. Its taken me a long time to figure out that this isn't the case. Its taken me a long time to let go of the problem and let my exah live his life as he chooses and figure his life out on his own.
I wish someone had told me that addiction was a disease.
I wish someone had sat me down and told me what was going on...
I'm not blaming anyone...
Aside from what I've mentioned, my parents are absolutely wonderful. I just wish we had had more open communication in our home about these difficult subjects. I wish it hadn't taken me 41 years and a destroyed marriage to understand how truly powerless I am over another's addiction.
I dont' know if I'm your typical acoa...
I do, however, think that the patterns of behavior that I learned about dealing with alcoholism have affected me.
Can anyone out there relate?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Hey there outa, and welcome to our little corner of recovery 
Yup. I sure can. Those lists of "characteristics" are not an instruction manual. They're just a guideline so we can have a place to start our recovery. Very few people match _all_ the characteristics, and many people have their own list.
Officially, the only requirment for membership in ACoA is that there be a problem of addiction in the people that raised us. In many places we take out the word "addiction" and just say "toxic family" or "dysfunctional family".
One of the "typical characteristics" of ACoA's is that we re-create in our adult life many of the same dysfunctional relationships we witnessed as children. From what you shared it sounds to me like you have done that.
Many ACoA's grow up with the firm determination that their parents life will "Never Happen to Me". It is such a common mantra that it became the title of a very good book on recovery from dysfuntional families. I was a little different in my wording, I swore I would grow up to be "different" from my parents. I did grow up different, but what I didn't learn until I got into recovery is that my "different" was just as un-healthy, but in a different manner. I had to learn how to live a _healthy_ life, instead of just a different one.
I also wish that a lot of things had been different in my childhood. So much in my life would have been different if I had only known. I've heard the first step as "Admited we were powerless over our past, that our lives had become unmanageable". Today I know I cannot change the past, and that every moment I spend wishing it had been different is a moment that I am not investing in making my future a better one.
I've also heard that "no matter how far we have fallen we will see how our experience will benefit others". That has become true for me in a myriad ways. Most every time I share a little of my past in a meeting I find someone who takes something helpful from my experience. There is nothing as rewarding as having someone come up to me at an AA meet and thank me for introducing them to al-anon, or an al-anon tearfuly thank me for taking her to an AA meet where she found hope for her husband.
That's also very common in dysfunctional families. I had terrible shame about my biological family. Somehow I felt ashamed of _me_ simply for being a part of that family. It took a lot of recovery and a few good shrinks for me to finally shake that one off. Part of my obsession with being "different" was an attempt to overcome that shame.
Welcome to ACoA, you certainly meet the "requirements"
Pull up a chair and join us on our path. You've got a whole new family now, one that doesn't keep secrets
Mike
Originally Posted by outonalimb
...I dont' know if I'm your typical acoa...I do, however, think that the patterns of behavior that I learned about dealing with alcoholism have affected me.
Can anyone out there relate? ...
Can anyone out there relate? ...
Officially, the only requirment for membership in ACoA is that there be a problem of addiction in the people that raised us. In many places we take out the word "addiction" and just say "toxic family" or "dysfunctional family".
One of the "typical characteristics" of ACoA's is that we re-create in our adult life many of the same dysfunctional relationships we witnessed as children. From what you shared it sounds to me like you have done that.
Many ACoA's grow up with the firm determination that their parents life will "Never Happen to Me". It is such a common mantra that it became the title of a very good book on recovery from dysfuntional families. I was a little different in my wording, I swore I would grow up to be "different" from my parents. I did grow up different, but what I didn't learn until I got into recovery is that my "different" was just as un-healthy, but in a different manner. I had to learn how to live a _healthy_ life, instead of just a different one.
I also wish that a lot of things had been different in my childhood. So much in my life would have been different if I had only known. I've heard the first step as "Admited we were powerless over our past, that our lives had become unmanageable". Today I know I cannot change the past, and that every moment I spend wishing it had been different is a moment that I am not investing in making my future a better one.
I've also heard that "no matter how far we have fallen we will see how our experience will benefit others". That has become true for me in a myriad ways. Most every time I share a little of my past in a meeting I find someone who takes something helpful from my experience. There is nothing as rewarding as having someone come up to me at an AA meet and thank me for introducing them to al-anon, or an al-anon tearfuly thank me for taking her to an AA meet where she found hope for her husband.
Originally Posted by outonalimb
...We never spoke of my father's stint at rehab. It was treated as a shameful family secret...
Welcome to ACoA, you certainly meet the "requirements"
Pull up a chair and join us on our path. You've got a whole new family now, one that doesn't keep secrets Mike
Last edited by DesertEyes; 09-14-2006 at 02:28 PM.
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 259
There were a few things on those lists (the 13 characteristics and the 14 self-perceptions) which got me stuck for a while, like the "addicted to excitement" one...that is not me at all.
I didn't marry or date alcoholics, but I did with people who've shown me little to no respect, were out-and-out abusive, and definitely did not love me at all (because I didn't love myself)
I like the "dysfunctional families" designation, too, because my father drank sporadically, but when he did drink, Ooh, Boy! When I first went to the website, after stopping at aa.org, I saw those words "Adult Children of Alcoholics..." and would have stopped right then and left the site had I not then continued to read, "and dysfunctional families." To me, that phrase has a spiritual root.
Welcome to ACOA...perhaps you don't recognize any of those characteristics in yourself because you have been working on yourself in another meeting/forum??
Just a thought.
I didn't marry or date alcoholics, but I did with people who've shown me little to no respect, were out-and-out abusive, and definitely did not love me at all (because I didn't love myself)
I like the "dysfunctional families" designation, too, because my father drank sporadically, but when he did drink, Ooh, Boy! When I first went to the website, after stopping at aa.org, I saw those words "Adult Children of Alcoholics..." and would have stopped right then and left the site had I not then continued to read, "and dysfunctional families." To me, that phrase has a spiritual root.
Welcome to ACOA...perhaps you don't recognize any of those characteristics in yourself because you have been working on yourself in another meeting/forum??
Just a thought.
Its_me_jen
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
I can relate outonalimb. I'm also an acoa -- my father as been sober since before anyone even thought of me......Actually, my mother met him while he was in rehab, she worked the overnight shift at the hospital. I remember telling people that my parents met at a mental hospital....I thought it was funny. Actually, I still do sort of but I'm getting off the topic.
My dad was very open about his alcoholism. He told us he was an alcoholic and that it was a disease and that it could be hereditary so we had to be careful. For a long time he was very involved in AA ...... sort of diminished I think when I was in grade school probably. I had my first drink when I was 13 I think. I loved it. I think deep down I knew right then that I had a problem, after all I was destined, right? The thing is, even though my dad was open about his alcoholism I was not comfortable telling him my secret. I battled it for years and years. I'm 31 now and I've been sober just over 9 months.
In 1998 my mother announced to the family that she had a drinking problem and she had to quit drinking. She tried it on her own and that didn't work. She went to a 30 day treatment facility and that didn't work and on and on and on. My father never had a clue. He had no clue at all. I remember knowing it when I was in junior high but he didn't?! He eventually left her because he just couldn't' understand why she didn't like AA and why she didn't quit drinking.
I never considered myself an acoa. I remember saying to people, my dad is an alcoholic and they'd get this look and say "Oh, I'm so sorry." I'd explain that he was a sober alcoholic and I'd never even seen him take a drink. I don't think I've begun to realize until now the effects my mother's drinking had on my.
In 1999 when she began her fight to get sober I was 24 years old. I figure it was different for me because I wasn't like 9 years old and being yelled at or neglected or abused. But I really did have a hard time dealing with her fight. I did enjoy ignoring my problem. She did finally get sober four years ago. Her sober date is June 2, 2002.
I think I'm really dragging this out but my point is......none of us have the exact same story but we've all been through very similar things and on some level we can all relate. In my family, we didn't talk about sex or drugs or anything scary like that. We didn't hug, we didn't say I love you. I really feel like the only thing they were open about was that dad was an alcoholic so be careful because you'll become one too. I think if my dad knew that he'd be devastated.
I'm here for ya if you want to talk. Sorry I might have made this much longer than it needed to be but I tend to put my actual thoughts down.....eh, I think you know what I mean.
peace out,
doll
My dad was very open about his alcoholism. He told us he was an alcoholic and that it was a disease and that it could be hereditary so we had to be careful. For a long time he was very involved in AA ...... sort of diminished I think when I was in grade school probably. I had my first drink when I was 13 I think. I loved it. I think deep down I knew right then that I had a problem, after all I was destined, right? The thing is, even though my dad was open about his alcoholism I was not comfortable telling him my secret. I battled it for years and years. I'm 31 now and I've been sober just over 9 months.
In 1998 my mother announced to the family that she had a drinking problem and she had to quit drinking. She tried it on her own and that didn't work. She went to a 30 day treatment facility and that didn't work and on and on and on. My father never had a clue. He had no clue at all. I remember knowing it when I was in junior high but he didn't?! He eventually left her because he just couldn't' understand why she didn't like AA and why she didn't quit drinking.
I never considered myself an acoa. I remember saying to people, my dad is an alcoholic and they'd get this look and say "Oh, I'm so sorry." I'd explain that he was a sober alcoholic and I'd never even seen him take a drink. I don't think I've begun to realize until now the effects my mother's drinking had on my.
In 1999 when she began her fight to get sober I was 24 years old. I figure it was different for me because I wasn't like 9 years old and being yelled at or neglected or abused. But I really did have a hard time dealing with her fight. I did enjoy ignoring my problem. She did finally get sober four years ago. Her sober date is June 2, 2002.
I think I'm really dragging this out but my point is......none of us have the exact same story but we've all been through very similar things and on some level we can all relate. In my family, we didn't talk about sex or drugs or anything scary like that. We didn't hug, we didn't say I love you. I really feel like the only thing they were open about was that dad was an alcoholic so be careful because you'll become one too. I think if my dad knew that he'd be devastated.
I'm here for ya if you want to talk. Sorry I might have made this much longer than it needed to be but I tend to put my actual thoughts down.....eh, I think you know what I mean.
peace out,
doll
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Seeking Peace
Posts: 1,371
Geez...
Thank you so much for your warm welcome and all of your replies. You have all given me so much to think about.
Mike,
You are absolutely right when you say...
I sure have...
I married a man just like my father.
They are both very warm hearted and family-oriented.
They both absolutely worship the ground that their wife walks on.
They both lean very heavily on their wife for stability...
They both seem to be like lost souls who wouldn't quite know what to do without the guidance of a 'good woman' in their life.
I didn't see all of this...I didn't see the glaring similarities...until just recently. And I assumed the role of the 'good wife' just like my mom. I was going to 'save' my exah and our family if it was the last thing I did. I was going to be the rock of gibraltar just like my mom was. I was going to be wise and strong and faithful...and pray alot...and evertthing was going to be okay...
Wow! I really see this pattern...I never really thought about it before but I see it now. And seeing the pattern helps...because I used to feel kind of ashamed that I wasn't the strong woman who kept the family together like my mom was...I folded up my tent and left with our son when I realized that nothing I said or did was going to make my exah get sober or clean one minute sooner than he was ready. I left as a matter of self-preservation. And then I proceeded to beat myself up and second-guess my decision to leave. Its insane...but recognizing that I followed a pattern from my childhood helps me to understand WHY I may have done what I did...
And it also makes me feel kinda proud that I managed to walk away when everything about my parent's relationship would have told me to stay no matter what. Hmmmmm.....This is very interesting indeed!!!
Thanks to you too GirlInside. I've been hanging in the NarAnon forum for the last year and a half....Although I don't quite identify myself as a codependent either I know I have some tendencies in that area...especially (and maybe only) where my 'love' relationships are concerned....
Paperdolls...thanks for sharing your story. Very interesting! I think its very interesting that your dad was always so open with you about his alcoholism especially since he was a recovering alcoholic your entire life. Such honesty and openness from a parent is a strange concept for me! I want to be open and honest with my son too. (Exah and I have a 7 yr old son together). My son knows his daddy has a drug and alcohol problem. I want my son to understand about addiction as a disease because I want him to know that he is more susceptible...and I want him to understand why his dad may not be the kind of dad he might hope he would be sometimes. Your story gives me lots to think about.
thank you again for your warm welcome...and all of your replies...
you've given me lots of food for thought tonight!
With much gratitude,
Mary
Thank you so much for your warm welcome and all of your replies. You have all given me so much to think about.
Mike,
You are absolutely right when you say...
One of the "typical characteristics" of ACoA's is that we re-create in our adult life many of the same dysfunctional relationships we witnessed as children. From what you shared it sounds to me like you have done that.
I married a man just like my father.
They are both very warm hearted and family-oriented.
They both absolutely worship the ground that their wife walks on.
They both lean very heavily on their wife for stability...
They both seem to be like lost souls who wouldn't quite know what to do without the guidance of a 'good woman' in their life.
I didn't see all of this...I didn't see the glaring similarities...until just recently. And I assumed the role of the 'good wife' just like my mom. I was going to 'save' my exah and our family if it was the last thing I did. I was going to be the rock of gibraltar just like my mom was. I was going to be wise and strong and faithful...and pray alot...and evertthing was going to be okay...
Wow! I really see this pattern...I never really thought about it before but I see it now. And seeing the pattern helps...because I used to feel kind of ashamed that I wasn't the strong woman who kept the family together like my mom was...I folded up my tent and left with our son when I realized that nothing I said or did was going to make my exah get sober or clean one minute sooner than he was ready. I left as a matter of self-preservation. And then I proceeded to beat myself up and second-guess my decision to leave. Its insane...but recognizing that I followed a pattern from my childhood helps me to understand WHY I may have done what I did...
And it also makes me feel kinda proud that I managed to walk away when everything about my parent's relationship would have told me to stay no matter what. Hmmmmm.....This is very interesting indeed!!!
Thanks to you too GirlInside. I've been hanging in the NarAnon forum for the last year and a half....Although I don't quite identify myself as a codependent either I know I have some tendencies in that area...especially (and maybe only) where my 'love' relationships are concerned....
Paperdolls...thanks for sharing your story. Very interesting! I think its very interesting that your dad was always so open with you about his alcoholism especially since he was a recovering alcoholic your entire life. Such honesty and openness from a parent is a strange concept for me! I want to be open and honest with my son too. (Exah and I have a 7 yr old son together). My son knows his daddy has a drug and alcohol problem. I want my son to understand about addiction as a disease because I want him to know that he is more susceptible...and I want him to understand why his dad may not be the kind of dad he might hope he would be sometimes. Your story gives me lots to think about.
thank you again for your warm welcome...and all of your replies...
you've given me lots of food for thought tonight!
With much gratitude,
Mary
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Nearby
Posts: 231
Outonalimb, I can so relate. From both sides of the addiction issue. I found out in my mid 30's that I was an ACOA. By then I'd already started down the slope with my own drinking.
For what it's worth I vowed to handle the communications with my own child differently. He was a toddler at the time and I have been as honest with him as was possible for me about my alcoholism. I don't know if my openness has made any difference in his story or not. What I do know is it has not stopped him from doing his own research.
I've had quite a few people tell me in AA that it wouldn't have mattered if they'd known about the dangers of alcohol, they would have been certain that they would be different.
For what it's worth I vowed to handle the communications with my own child differently. He was a toddler at the time and I have been as honest with him as was possible for me about my alcoholism. I don't know if my openness has made any difference in his story or not. What I do know is it has not stopped him from doing his own research.
I've had quite a few people tell me in AA that it wouldn't have mattered if they'd known about the dangers of alcohol, they would have been certain that they would be different.
Its_me_jen
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
Originally Posted by outonalimb
Paperdolls...thanks for sharing your story. Very interesting! I think its very interesting that your dad was always so open with you about his alcoholism especially since he was a recovering alcoholic your entire life. Such honesty and openness from a parent is a strange concept for me! I want to be open and honest with my son too. (Exah and I have a 7 yr old son together). My son knows his daddy has a drug and alcohol problem. I want my son to understand about addiction as a disease because I want him to know that he is more susceptible...and I want him to understand why his dad may not be the kind of dad he might hope he would be sometimes. Your story gives me lots to think about.
MaryMy dad was open and honest about his alcoholism -- but it didn't go beyond "I'm an alcoholic and you should be careful because it can be hereditary." The honesty was always there but as far as openness, there was a lot we didn't talk about.....pretty much nothing real personal. I was thinking over the weekend.....I would consider us a close family. We talk on the phone often, with the exception of my dad we live in the same town. But, I started thinking and I think we have almost a superficial relationship. I don't call my sister or mother when I'm having a crisis and they don't call me. That type of stuff is personal to me and I'd rather talk to friends. Almost like I don't feel comfortable talking with them, may be I'm afraid they would worry. I don't know.
Anyway, I just wanted to point that out to you. I don't have children but I do think it is important to be open and honest at all levels. Give them hugs, tell them you love them. Answer the questions they have about alcohol/drugs. Talk to them about things. My parents didn't do that at all.
Just a thought.
doll
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: chapel hill, nc
Posts: 70
41 years huh?, For me, it was 45. I can't recall the number of times I have said in an Alanon meeting obver the past nine months how much of my life I have missed. Failed relationships, lost friendships, the depressions and anxieties, where could I begin... Then after a woman I loved said good-bye to me after "knowing" her for 27 years, I came to Alanon. It's taken me some time to come to grips and accept the past. As Oprah says "If you knew better, you could have done better. Now that you do know better, you can!".
But that doesn't mean sometime it hurts. It's called grief. Just part of being a human being. But the only time really is now anyway. No matter what happened in the past, it's gone. Just a memory now. A faded dream.
But I can learn from it, let it chnage me for the better. Allow me to help others now.
Not much I can really say except I know exactly what you mean. I'm sure we all do here. We've all gone through it. The program has helped save my life. Only nine months in it, but it's like day and night. I've learned I'm an incredible person. Caring, compassionate, loving, and a spiritual creation equal to everyone. Love is the only answer. For yourself and everyone else. Be kind to yourself today
Ken
But that doesn't mean sometime it hurts. It's called grief. Just part of being a human being. But the only time really is now anyway. No matter what happened in the past, it's gone. Just a memory now. A faded dream.
But I can learn from it, let it chnage me for the better. Allow me to help others now.
Not much I can really say except I know exactly what you mean. I'm sure we all do here. We've all gone through it. The program has helped save my life. Only nine months in it, but it's like day and night. I've learned I'm an incredible person. Caring, compassionate, loving, and a spiritual creation equal to everyone. Love is the only answer. For yourself and everyone else. Be kind to yourself today
Ken
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: crossroads
Posts: 2,834
Oh my god is what I need to start off with. I came now to Sr to originally go to the naranon forum. I click on your thread outonalimb thinking it was still naranon..... I believe my HP led me here. My boyfriend is an addict but this past week I have been thinking about my dads drinking and my own drinking, more than usual lately. This thread struck right to my heart.
Mike, thats so true what you said. I remember so clearly being a little girl no more than 7 and all through my teens saying word for word, I wont be like them (parents), my life will be different. And yes in some ways it is different but in many ways its the same.
Outonalimb I am going to go read what you were talking about the characteristics ACOA.
Thanks,
Jewel
Many ACoA's grow up with the firm determination that their parents life will "Never Happen to Me". It is such a common mantra that it became the title of a very good book on recovery from dysfuntional families. I was a little different in my wording, I swore I would grow up to be "different" from my parents. I did grow up different, but what I didn't learn until I got into recovery is that my "different" was just as un-healthy, but in a different manner. I had to learn how to live a _healthy_ life, instead of just a different one.
Outonalimb I am going to go read what you were talking about the characteristics ACOA.
Thanks,
Jewel
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Hey there Jewel, and welcome to our little corner of recovery. Glad you "accidentally" dropped in There's lots of awesome posts here, and tons of great books on recovering from "toxic families". Feel free to browse all you want and toss out any ideas or questions you come up with.
Mike
There's lots of awesome posts here, and tons of great books on recovering from "toxic families". Feel free to browse all you want and toss out any ideas or questions you come up with.Mike
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Seeking Peace
Posts: 1,371
Hi Jewelz!
Fancy meeting you here!!
I haven't spent alot of time in this forum...but I know that I need to start looking at some of these ACOA issues. I never really thought about it before but I've been thinking alot about it lately and Im really starting to see how the way I dealt with my exahs addiction mirrored the way I saw my mom deal with it. Her way doesn't work for me. My dad's addiction wasn't anything near as bad as my exahs. My approach was like trying to kill an elephant with a BB gun.
I think looking at these issues will help...I think its worth a try. I ordered a book recently called "It will never happen to me"...or something like that. Its supposed to be a good book for ACOA. I'll let you know what I think about it when it arrives.
Anyway, I'm glad to see you here Jewelz! Maybe we'll learn something together!!!
Fancy meeting you here!!
I haven't spent alot of time in this forum...but I know that I need to start looking at some of these ACOA issues. I never really thought about it before but I've been thinking alot about it lately and Im really starting to see how the way I dealt with my exahs addiction mirrored the way I saw my mom deal with it. Her way doesn't work for me. My dad's addiction wasn't anything near as bad as my exahs. My approach was like trying to kill an elephant with a BB gun.
I think looking at these issues will help...I think its worth a try. I ordered a book recently called "It will never happen to me"...or something like that. Its supposed to be a good book for ACOA. I'll let you know what I think about it when it arrives.
Anyway, I'm glad to see you here Jewelz! Maybe we'll learn something together!!!
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