Bobbybanned

There is so much I could say, so much I want to say, but then again, I wonder sometimes what gives me the right. You see, when it comes to these higher power's, spirituality, and all the like, I find myself perplexed how people decide to define them. Which is what has to do with my uncertainty of speaking up. The last thing I want to ever do is suggest that someone should not think as they do or to imply they are foolish or be offensive in any way, shape or form. I want to make friends, not enemies. I guess I say all of that as a means of providing anyone who reads this with my intentions. Which are to simply share my thoughts, with the understanding that I respect the thoughts of others that differ from mine. Ah, I know, I'll just refer to myself and my ideas rather than making direct comparisons. There! Of course I may need to reserve the right to make vague, indirect comparisons, but only as a means of reference to make a point...which may not even become necessary. Anyway...
Spirituality, to me, does not exist. The reason I came to that conclusion was because of the definitions involved with it. Of course I do recognize the word when I see or hear it. I have a reaction to it as well. At best, I conclude it as an idea, an interpretation of an individual. It is something that individuals refer to as a means of connecting or maybe identifying with some sort of realm that seems ideal to the harmony, solitude, understanding, (you name it) they desire in their lives. Spirituality is an idea that seems to be an emotional reaction to all that doesn't make sense, or furthermore, all that is chaotic in what we are able to comprehend.
In addition to those comments it is important that I add how intently I have considered various explanations of spirituality, and there are many. Most of which, in their unique ways, seem very noble to their cause, their purpose. But I am usually left thinking that the explanation fails to apply. For instance, it may be suggested that spirituality is what connects each and every thing to everything else, or it is the essence of our souls, or the recognition of a higher power, or whatever the case may be, nevertheless, all of that fails to provide anything that is useful. I realize that comment may have put me in dangerous waters a bit, so allow me to ellaborate. Whatever people believe spirituality provides them, can in fact be provided without it. It truly can, without any mystery. The reason we should conceren ourselves with the minimization of mystery is to elliminate any confusion or doubt that we all naturally find troublesome in our daily lives. It is not healthy when a person relies on a higher power (for instance) and is feeling positive and very spiritual and then something occurs, something bad, and bam, they just may feel effected by the occurence. It creates a conflict. Because life happens and life is not always pleasant as it happens.
So, what have I done? After years as a christian, after years of being agnostic, after even convincing myself (with the persuasion of N/A) that I could find a higher power within my group-mates, after spending years as an atheist, (which I now am) I finely concluded that I couldn't tolerate the conflict that all of the imagining was creating within my head. I decided I was comfortable with good old fashioned reason. I don't want to feel spiritual, I want to feel positive. I don't want to rely on a higher power, I want to rely on me and people who I can talk to. I like knowing that if I make a bad decision that I will pay the conseques and if I achieve something I am the one who deserves the credit. This position I have adopted allows me to live the life I am living directly, as an accountable participant. Someone may suggest that the philosophy behind all of that is spiritual, but I don't understand the necessity of applying the word.
It is true that I am very logical, rational, calculative, and as result, I have been accused of being cold-hearted and unemotional. Those accusations had pained me too, as the reality of it is that I have decided to attempt, as best as I am capable, to experience. To do that, I must understand what it is that allows me to experience. My emotions. They are the key to all of our experiences. They are why we do what we do. They are in fact why we want to be spiritual. It provides an emotional reaction that is appealing.
Emotions are the platform that provides quality to all that there is. They are something that exist in my brain. They are the very thing that make me unique. They are the fabric of our being and since they were there before our ability to reason was, we learned to reason based on our emotional experiences. Which has much to do with why many of us became addicts. but anyway, I may be getting a little to far into this.
All I know with certainty is that I never saw a God. I was born an atheist, just like the rest of the population of the world. None of us knew of anything that resembled a God until we were taught it. Spirituality, well, it's a cool word. I am glad that people find something in the word. But, as a whole, a people, a world, I wonder if we would be better off if we just considered how simple we truly all are and looked to ourselves and became accountable for every single action we do and don't take. Who knows, a person just may wake up one morning, look in the mirror and realize they are staring at their higher power.