I've come to meetings drunk, bottle in purse. I'd even go to the rest room for a sip. I felt sorry for the people in AA when I was first introduced and I certianly didn't think I was one of you. I couldn't figure out what it was that you had that I was supposed to want. I loved alcohol. I hated meetings, people, God, even coffee. I believe the one thing that kept me coming back and eventually led to my recovery was the lack of judgement from the people at the meetings. They loved me, they left me alone. I'd never experienced that in my life. Everyone I knew was eager and willing to tell me how to live my life, council me, preach to me or otherwise push me around. AA was different. They let me be who I was, they didn't try to TELL me. It fills my heart to know that.
It took me a long time to want sobriety - even after I hadn't had a drink for over a year. There was nothing honest about me for a long time. I had to relearn, or rather learn, everything that was worth knowing here, and people were kind. I'm a hard learner and they let me be. It was the warmth and safety of the rooms that kept me coming back.
I'm grateful for the Grace and maturity I found in the people of AA. I was told
"No matter where you've been, no matter what you've done, you're welcome here" and I needed to know that.