It's really hard to know what to say and what not to say to them. It's very frustrating and I have to hold back and not ask him stuff, I don't even know why I even consider asking him about recovery, etc anymore because I mostly know how he'll react. He usually will say nothing or get angry. I guess that's what detaching is about... we have to remember to Let it Begin with Me and keep the focus on ourselves and not them. It's hard but it does get easier the more you do it.
Summer