I am having some horrible issues with detachment right now...H and I had a conversation on Sunday where I asked him his thoughts on what will happen when he is out of the recovery house this month...I'm not sure I'm ready for him to come home yet...he has mixed feelings too...then I said something that he reacted to anger with, I said he needs to do what feels right to him b/c we have to both be sure this time before we try this again...he said he would do whatever his counselor told him to do..I said that was good but wanted to know what his thoughts were..he got angry and hostile with me, told me I was being pushy...I didn't feel like I was b/c I'm very in tune with what my motives are when I talk to him now and I was really talking purely out of love for him and his recovery. I ended up telling him that I don't like the way I feel when he reacts to me like that and doesn't listen and interrupts me. I told him I want him to listen to me and respect me even when he disagrees with me. I haven't heard from him since, and I called him tonight, only to be told he was unavailable. So, I'm feeling pretty sorry for myself right now...thinking that when things seem to be going well, something backfires and makes it all miserable again..all day today I was dwelling on what I'd said, trying to convince myself that I must have come across wrong, but I know my intentions were sincere. Detachment is what I need to do. I'm really tired of feeling pain, even though I know our feelings are our own, it still sucks.
Gabe, the balloon idea sounds great, I'll have to do that when my spirits are a little better, right now I can't wait for my alanon meeting tomorrow.