Hi Rosemary.
This relationship doesn't sound like a lot of fun, even if you leave the booze out of the equation. Have you thought about making a little list for yourself... reasons to stay, reasons to flee? You're the only one who can know if what you get from the relationship is worth what it costs you, or what compromises you are comfortable making. It sounds like maybe the costs are too high for you. That's okay. You don't owe this man or anyone your happiness and serenity. You don't have to stay and take care of him. That's not working out anyway, is it?
Figure out what will make YOU happiest and go for it. We're right behind you.
Hugs,
Smoke