****{STEPHANIE}}}
I so feel for you about the family thing. I get really crazy, depressed and anxious around mine too. I am slowly learning how to not to get so tore up around them, but it is a lot of work because these feelings are like a leg or an arm of ours, we have lived with them so long.
I used to work in nursing homes too, and I know all the death and dying is hard to take, especially with family. But there is something special I carry in heart for those I've held their hand when they died, I held my grandmother's hand when she passed-I didn't think I could that, but I did and it wasn't as horrible as I thought, it was a gift. With my grandpa..I was walking out of his hospital room when the urge to turn around and go back in actually spun me around. He held my hand so tight when I went back in and talked to me, I'm crying right now thinking about it, but it's okay because my grandparents are in my heart and they cheer me on every step of the way.
You need to take good care of yourself right now, lots of rest and good food and relaxing. Just take things in little steps..I am praying for you, Stephanie. Just take our hands, we're always here for you.
Many hugs and hope too,
Tammie