I think yours is a problem held shared by almost everyone, including me.
I sometime think it could be all about the ego, that religion and life after death scenarios are all founded on the the fact(?)(i cant think of the right word here...sorry)that we cannot bear the idea of no longer existing so we build vast constructs around us so we dont have to face that.
Having said that Im exactly the same, very frightened of illness and death, desperatly hoping there is something after this.
I get comfort from looking at all the cycles(as I was saying in the 'what Americans believe thread')I can see everywhere...the moon,tides, seasons etc. Its my hope that we too 'come back' and there IS growing evidence for reincarnation...children are sometimes born with past life memories that have been coroborated, and there are quite a few cases that seem very complete and convincing.
Some interesting literature on the subject are Michael Newton's books 'Destiny of souls' and 'Journey of souls' he is an American hypnotherapist who worked on looking at 'life between lives' for his PHd....he hypnotises people and takes them back to before their birth....its an absoulutely RIVETING read and free of the smush that some of the kind of books have.Very comforting, and his arguments are quite convincing....give them a go!
I certainly dont want a big mausoleum in my honour! but I WOULD like to leave something of myself (out of vanity,I guess..sigh) I'd like to think my photographs would go on touching people after my demise....I think its wonderful to leave a legacy of great music, books,or pictures...think how art touches our lives....enriching and cheering in a way no religion can. Where would we be without music, some of it written centuries ago that is still inspiring and delighting people who will never know the composer....what a wonderful gift to leave!! You truly live on then.
Id hate a big do funeral...Id like to be quietly cremated on the banks of ganges, with people chatting and cooking tea over my pyre...and my ashes cast into the great river itself. I HATE funerals in this country.all that fuss and money spent on hiding death. Its stupid. senseless. as for enbalming!! crazy waste of time, nature will always take back the body eventually.Meanwhile Id like to think we live on, resting after a hard lifes work on earth, recharging our batteries and eventually planning our next foray to earth.
This forum is just awesome! xx